Monthly Archives: January 2020

Forgive

Matthew 14-15 NIV is where Jesus himself, as He is teaching His followers, says “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

To fully walk with Christ you must forgive those that you’re angry at and/or that have hurt you. No easy task for us humans but when we are filled with the Holy Spirit, Gods strength gives us the ability and power to over come the world and ourselves.

Who do you need to forgive?

Through prayer and petition with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6) talk it out with God and He will help you. God knows your heart and He is listening for you to talk to him about what is bottled up inside.

We are all naturally born sinners which makes each one of us perfectly imperfect. It’s easier to live in sin than to walk with Christ yet forgiving others is a must in order to be free to roam His kingdom.

It’s a daily talk with God for me. I have to ask him repeatedly to give me His strength to let go…

My Daddy

My Daddy

While my Daddy is not a perfect man, who is, I have come to know him and love him beyond measure. He is perfectly imperfect!

My Daddy was not around much as I was growing up and even when he was around he didn’t pay much attention to us kids. Once he and my Mom got a divorce, it was like he had just disappeared from the planet. I never understood why he would not reach out to his children. For a long time, I thought it was my fault because I was the baby. I have an older sister and an older brother that I grew up with. But me being the youngest I felt like I had ruined his life, and his marriage to my Mother, and that’s why he had left us all.

I, now, know that it was not my fault.

NO CHILD SHOULD BLAME THEMSELVES FOR THEIR PARENTS DIVORCE!

In trying to locate him as teenager my Mother helped me by taking me to the local police department and giving them his information, which was a dead end, because they wouldn’t help. I even reached out to my “Granny”, his Mom, for help but she too was a dead end. I found out later that she did in fact know where he was and even knew how to get in touch with him but he had instructed her not to share any of his information with any of us. The only information she eventually told me was that my Daddy had remarried and moved to another state. I felt like he chose a new family over his own. I was so heart broken!

A few years passed by and, at this time in my life, I was now 16 years old. I got a phone call that my Pepaw (my Daddy’s Dad) was nearing the end of his life and if I wanted to see him alive, I needed to get there asap. So my Uncle Gary, whom was living with us at the time, took me to the hospital where my Pepaw was at but by the time we arrived, he had already passed away.

While there, I seen my Daddy and his wife, whom was a “friend” of my Mom’s years back, for the first time in I don’t even know how many years at this point. I am not sure that I can even explain all of the emotions that poured over me at that very moment as I stared them in their eyes. Honestly, I don’t even remember if or what I said to him in that moment. I’m sure we spoke but it had to have been brief. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I had missed getting to tell my Pepaw bye plus seeing my Daddy during that moment for the first time, that I have no memory of us even speaking. My only memory is that I seen them at the hospital.

Strange in deed but my Daddy did eventually come back into our lives once he divorced, yet again.

Anyway, jumping ahead many years, my Daddy is now one of my best friends in the whole wide world! He is an over the road truck driver of many years and lives with my husband and I when he takes his monthly days off.

I couldn’t imagine life without him now. The relationship that God has allowed me to have with him in my adult life has, by far, made up for the loss of him not being in my life as a child.

I am so thankfully grateful to God that I have my Daddy by my side now. AS believers, God is so good in how He works things out in our lives. Sometimes it’s years out before we reap the benefits from our trials but eventually we see why we had to go through the pain and sufferings in order to get to where we are in our walk with the Lord. I give Him all of the glory.

“Nobody But You”

“Nobody but You” by Gwen and Blake

youtu.be/4h9o0Gujuoc

This is a new video that just came out a few days ago. Even if you don’t follow these two artist, I’d bet you’ve heard about their awesome relationship some how.

I absolutely love these two together!

Pic from (google search) E! News online

Imma country girl myself so I don’t follow Gwen’s style of music but, after watching her on The Voice, I’ve come to enjoy her personality. I’m beginning to listen to her music more and learning that I can relate to it too. Gwen’s personality comes through in her songs and I love her bouncy, realistic, and relatable personality. I also enjoy her style of clothing and ability to do her own thang no matter who says what about it.

Anywho, check out more of their music. Follow them on social media. And enjoy the love for one another that they exude from within.

Rough Day

Another rough day of pain. Ugh!! So over this flare up.

My BFF sent me this picture and it is so true! She truly gets me and there are no words to explain how much I appreciate and love her.

Speaks for itself

After day 4 (today) of this particular flare up and struggling to even get something accomplished (read My Office post), I’m so exhausted! My body is so tired and not like a normal “oh I’m tired”, it’s like an “I’m so tired I can’t see straight nor walk right kinda tired”. I feel like every bone and muscle I have is aching and burning and my skin tingles when someone just touches me. My head feels I can feel every single strand of hair and they hurt. I hate so many things about myself, especially my body, these days. But God right!?! If I didn’t have God to lean on and carry me on the days I can’t carry my own weight around, I honestly don’t know what I’d do with myself. Also, I am so thankful for my husband y’all! He does everything he can to help me. He tries so hard to ease my pain but nothing truly helps. It just has to run its course.

It’s so hard to explain so that others can have some kind of understanding of my misery. No one sees my “behind closed doors” struggles, I make sure of that. The two people I can’t hide from are God and my husband, they see it all, and they help me more than any others could. I rely on them for everything. Thank you Lord for your strength and mercy. Thank you David for loving me through it all.

As I type this, I realize that I really am very blessed! Way to blessed to stress over all of this pain. It’s nothing compared to what Jesus went through. Thank you Lord God for giving us Your Son on that cross to take our sins and fill us with The Holy Spirit once we give our life over to You. Thank you for helping me live in this pain every single day. I look so forward to my life in Heaven with You Lord.

Good night y’all. May God bless each and every one of you as He has me.

I’mma “Spoonie”

youtu.be/jn5IBsm49Rk

A well explained way of my daily life with the issues I live with. Take the time to watch this and maybe it’ll help you to understand…..

Dr Robert Jeffress

www.youtube.com/watch

How to know you are truly saved. I enjoy Dr Jeffress’s teachings and his direct messages of the true meaning of salvation. He don’t beat around any bush to say what he believes to be truth in the Gospel.

Through belief and trust in our Lord Jesus Christ, along with heartfelt repentance, is the only way to spend eternity in Heaven.

The fact is that we will all die one day. Where will you live out your eternity?

My Office

There’s nothing like jamming out to some 80’s music, of all genres, to get me into a cleaning mood. My body don’t keep up with my mind anymore so it takes me longer now to do things I used to could do in no time at all or so it seemed. But I still enjoy the ability to do what I can to be able to sit in a clean room and gaze at my accomplishments for a brief moment.

Today, my favorite music is Christian music. I play it all the time but, for me, it does not help me to want to clean. It’s more calming and soothing to my soul as it engages me with other believers as I feel closer to God through listening to them share their hearts. I’m not a heavy metal or hard core rock n roll listener at all. Growing up, I listened to country music the most with some pop and easy rock thrown in the mix as well. So when I want to clean, I go to my amazon music and set it to an eighties genre or the eighties channel on the satellite tv. I love how they both will play a mix of the entire decade, as I dance around and clean on the move all while having flash backs from my child hood and my young mother hood days.

When both of my children were little, we didn’t have Amazon then so I would put the satellite tv on the eighties music channel or I would play my cassettes from my generation because I still have a stereo that has a cassette and record player. I would teach both of them how to two step, dance the cotton eyed joe, and other dances that I remembered from back in my younger days. The three of us had the best of times all while working together to have a clean house before their Daddy would come home from work.

With my husband gone for the weekend, last night around five-ish, I decided to force myself to clean my office back up again. My office is where I keep most of my souvenir items that I pick up when I travel. It’s where I have my desk for my laptop and printer. It’s where I have all of my Young Living items for use and for sale. It’s also where I have my memorabilia of my two boys and their Air Force beginnings. So, needless to say, it’s a small room full of a few of my favorite life events and I keep the door shut most of the time to keep the cat out of there. It’s so easy to just toss things in that room and shut the door on it and not have to look at it. So it has piled up over these past few months.

I haven’t been able to clean it all up, due to pain and/or surgery, in several months now. It’s not a room that I will allow anyone else to clean up for me either. So last night I decided that I wanted to get it done and back into using operation again no matter how bad I felt. I began by cranking up my music to the eighties mix genre on Amazon Music and away I went. I didn’t wind up finishing up until 2:30 this morning. With lots of stopping and restarting having to take place, it took me longer than expected, but it is done and I can sit in there and gaze at my work for a brief moment of pleasure.

My Office
My Boys

Chronic Pain

Today……………………………………………it hurts to breathe.

Anyone else?

For me, my chronic pain feels like this gorgeous picture appears to me in my mind. I can see the beautiful mountain as it is so disguised by the tons of cold snow that lay at rest on it. But we know the snow will come and go with the seasons as does the enhancement of my pain.

I can disguise my body raging with pain just as the snow is disguising the mountain in the photo. I can almost feel my pain level rising just from the mass of cold air I imagine is blowing as I look at this picture. Such cold air, while the view may be beautiful, only enhances my chronic pain yet I will disguise it to others as they look upon me and my life just as this photo has disguised the dirt that lies beneath the snow.

The nerves and joints in my body are covered with mounds of pain, such as the snow in the picture. As the pain slowly goes down the insides of my body, just as the snow falls down the mountain side, it hits every angle of sharpness on its way down. It feels like I can literally feel every sharp and dull pain it encounters as it is falling.

I see the imagine come alive inside my mind as each tumble of snow breaks apart into more and more flakes of snow before it winds up into the icy cold waters below and is melted until all of the snow has completely been melted off of the mountain; such as each pain flows down my body until the next one is felt. Once it hits the “waters” it’s melted so that that particular feeling of pain is gone only to feel the weight from tons of more pain that was left behind.

When will the entire snow in this shot, that is frozen in time, fully melt? When the seasons change as each year passes until God returns to claim His possession that He created.

When will my pain be completely gone in this life? Only when God returns to claim His possession that He created.

Until then my Father…………………..

Fear

Have you ever read words on paper but felt like the person that did the writing was sitting across from you as the words on each page illuminated as if they were “spoken” directly to you? ME TOO!! Happen to me just tonight, as a matter of fact.

I am reading through a book called “She Laughs” written by CA Miljavac. Initially I began to read it because I was on her launch team. I, along with hundreds of others, was asked to help share our thoughts on social media, and by writing a few reviews, about her book release happening on New Years Day of Twenty Twenty. I have enjoyed being a part of it all. I’ve even enjoyed reading the book so much so that I’ve continued reading it on my kindle app as well as a hard copy I bought. There are times that I can’t help but to literally laugh out loud as I’ve keep reading it. I love that she has the ability to write like a true friend would be speaking to her BFF, well how I do anyway; very blunt and straight forward. As I continue to read along, in each chapter Carolanne’s writing makes me feel like I’m her BFF and she’s being a hundred percent honest with me about her thoughts.

Tonight as I was reading through chapter four, everything was so relatable to me that it was like she and I were sitting across the table from one another as she was giving me advice for procrastinating from fear. As I read each page, I began highlighting sentences that I could easily and quickly reread once I finish the book. The more I read, the more I was highlighting until it felt as if I was highlighting at least one sentence on every single page. I would change the colors from time to time to show myself, when I go back and reread them, where to separate each thought. I truly don’t know how many sentences that I’ve gotten lit up on my kindle so far in just four chapters, it’s quite a few, and I’ve still got six more chapters of reading to go. Thankfully the kindle won’t run out of ink in its highlighters like I do when highlighting in a real book. I love to mark sentences as they speak to me in what ever book I’m reading. It helps me to quickly go back and proofread after I’m finished with each book to know what I got out of it.

In tonight’s reading of chapter four, the whole “not letting fear stop you” that Carolanne writes about is SOOOOO speaking to me. I won’t share to much of her writing because you really should read the book yourself.

I’ve let fear prevent me from completing a project that God has laid on my heart, a few years back now. Daily, for the past few months, it comes to my forethought even when I’m just sitting down to watch television. Tonight, as I read, I now know what my issue is for not completing the task. FEAR!

Ive let fear take over my thoughts by listening to “you’re not good enough”, “you’re a no body”, “you can’t do this”, etc. I’ve allowed the negative thoughts in my head to control my progress and I need prayer to help me succeed. I’ve yet allowed myself to follow through and complete it because I am so afraid to let God down. My fear of “not wanting to” let Him down is letting Him and myself down. I’ve allowed fear such control over me that it has stopped me from following through with completing the goal. I tell myself “it isn’t God that you don’t trust, it’s just myself that I don’t trust” but in actuality it is me not fully trusting in God to work through me one hundred percent. I say “I trust you Lord” but my actions prove otherwise. Philippians 4:13 says “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.” When I allow myself to fear letting Christ down, I am allowing the enemy to rob me of so many blessings that I could be receiving during, and even after, completing the task at hand.

If you struggle with fear and doubt of your own capabilities, join me in praying: “Lord forgive me for ever doubting You and Your abilities of what You can do in me through You in the process of doubting my self. I realize I’ve let myself down. Give me courage and wisdom to finish what we started together. I trust You and I want to be used as Your vessel. In Jesus name I pray, Amen”

Thank you to Carolanne for being the kind of friend I needed in telling me what I needed to hear tonight through your writing. I pray that I will be that kind of Author to others as well.

Fibromyalgia

Have you ever really in truly thought about what you put into your body? Me neither! Well today I had an awakening, more than before, to pay even more attention to that very thing.

I have some health concerns that, to me, aren’t really “concerns” but rather just a daily reminder that I have issues from never having a day free from pain. I stay in pain twenty four / seven due to them, but the one I want to talk about today is the fact that I suffer from fibromyalgia.

Now, for those of you that do not know what that is: MayoClinic.org explains it this way; Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals. Having said that, I take medicine daily for the many different pains I live with. Occasionally though, I will have what is known as a “flare”. A flare is when symptoms intensify without warning and can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. One just never knows when it will come on or even how long it might last.

Having said all of that, I wanted to blog about it because I watched a YouTube video today that shed some light on the subject for me that I had never seen before. It taught me that someone with fibromyalgia that consumes foods with copper should not do so. Copper, in anything if ingested, can have lots of repercussions for someone with fibromayalgia. We can receive significant pain from it.

First of all, I had no clue that copper was even found in foods, vitamins, and even in our water. What!?! So I did what anyone that had just learned something new would do, I googled it. It gave me a list of the top ten foods to avoid that contain copper and wouldn’t you know some of those foods would be my FAVORITES to eat!?! For instance, DARK CHOCOLATE contains copper…..no way! Another one of my faves is CRAB LEGS! It also stated that pork of any kind contains copper. NOT MY BACON!!!! Anything processed or containing something from the intestinal parts of an animal, such as liver, gizzard, etc., will contain copper.

I might as well just stop eating all together and just live on protein drinks, chips, and Dr. Pepper!! I mean just about everything I eat isn’t good for me now a days any way right, especially now that I know about this new found copper knowledge.

Anywho, now that I have learned to pay closer attention to things I consume for an ingredient known as copper, I will be checking all the labels as I go. But the one thing I refuse to give up is my Dr. Pepper a day. I will consume that until the day I die or I can not lift the can myself anymore. But wait, that’s when a straw will come in handy…LOL!

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