Have you ever wondered if God was paying attention to you and what’s going on in your life? Have you ever felt left out or ignored by Him? Boy, I sure have and not that long ago either.
There are times when I am just so unsure of anything and everything that is happening in and to me in life that it’s a struggle to even get out of bed of a morning.
But God y’all. But God is always working, even when we don’t see it.
Looking back at the most recent events in my life, there is no possible way to deny that God has been working the entire time. Scripture tells us what Jesus said to the Jews in John 5:17 (AMP). “But Jesus answered them, “My Father has been working until now [He has never ceased working], and I too am working.””
What a reassuring statement.
So many times we sit back and say we trust Jesus but our actions show otherwise. This is not pleasing to God or ourselves. We must always show that we trust in our Lord, even in times of struggle and ignorance.
My husband was laid off, with little to no warning, just a couple of months ago. We were panicked and unsure of what to do. We have to have income coming in to support our household expenses. I work but it’s only part time. That’s not nearly enough to carry us.
Thankfully God provided! And just in time too. Gods timing is always the perfect timing.
John 14:1 AMP, again with Jesus talking, says “Do not let your heart be troubled (afraid, cowardly). Believe [confidently] in God and trust in Him, [have faith, hold on to it, rely on it, keep going and] believe also in Me.”
My husband was able to get unemployment rather quickly, which is very rare. We had our first check within two weeks. And I was able to get more hours during the exact time frame that we needed, before being dropped back down to part time.
Totally God there y’all.
My husband began a new job April 1, making more money than he was and with the best benefits we’ve ever had before.
God had to remove my husband from his old job, use the six full weeks of unemployment to prepare him for the exact timing that God had set for him to begin a brand new job, in a totally new area, with all new people. And he’s loving it.
Sometimes change is good so keep an open mind when changes occur. Ask God what He wants you to do. God was working in our lives behind the scenes the entire time and He continues to do so every moment of every day.
What does one do that feels like they’ve done everything humanly possible to make a relationship work yet it continues to fail? Ya know relationships fail all the time and people just hop on a plane or in a car and leave as to avoid admitting failure and repairing the damage.
Let me just say, it’s easier to let go of some relationships than it is to let go of others. I’ve let go of a few relationships in my life to avoid letting them, or rather me allowing them, to have any control over me and my behavior. Sometimes it’s just best to walk away or even let them walk away, but it’s never easy to walk away from your kids without putting up a “fight”. But there comes a time when there’s just no fight left in you and you fall to your knees in tears begging God to help you. You find yourself asking God what you’re doing wrong. You find yourself having to take a step back and simply (not so simple) allow Gods will to be done and you do absolutely nothing but continually pray.
So after lots of prayers and petitions to God, this is what He’s told me multiple times is the best way to handle it. The best way for me to handle this particular situation is to not handle it at all. I have to let go and let God handle it once and for all.
2 Timothy 2:23-26 (ESV) says:
Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
I’ve come to the conclusion that there comes a time when we have to make hard decisions, even when it seems like the hardest decision you’ll ever have to make, for ourselves. Decisions that we know will effect us for a long period of time. Decisions that hurt our hearts so badly that our chest physically hurts. Decisions that are for our own protection. Decisions that will prevent us from giving into the foolishness of controversy. Decisions that may have people you love so deeply having nothing to do with you. Decisions to simply guard your own heart from breaking so badly that it seems in repairable. Decisions to not allow the enemy to use anyone to cause you to fall back into your old self.
Once you feel like you’ve gone around the same “mountain” so many times and never see new scenery, it’s time to finally just jump the train track if you will. It’s time to sit back and truly, 100%, turn it over to God. It’s okay to protect yourself. It’s okay to protect your own heart and your own emotions from the same ole train wreck that always happens when you let your guard down.
God is our Father and He wants to protect us from hurt and harm but more often than not, we bring it upon ourselves then we get mad at God and ask Him why HE ALLOWED THIS to happen to us. He didn’t! We did! And we have to stop it. We must finally break the cycle. We have to decide that it needs to stop and it needs to stop right now. Only then can God begin a work in the situation and help to mend things or cause us to move on from it until they decide they want to mend it as well.
No relationship of any kind can be one sided and have success. Relationships of any kind takes pride and hard work to keep it humbly unique in unity. We must each choose to be happy with one another, no matter our flaws. God can change anyone’s heart but He gives us the decisions as to what we’re gonna do with it. Are we gonna live for Him or the world? Are we gonna love one another like Jesus does or are we gonna “love” one another like the enemy does. The choice is ours.
I’ve had a relationship with someone that I love beyond measure, that’s been breaking my heart and causing me such stress and anxiety, for quite some time. It has been such an on again, off again type relationship for far to long now. One minute I’m “loved and appreciated” and the best person and the next minute I’m hated and despised for who knows what. I just can’t play that game any longer! I have prayed and prayed and prayed, and will continue praying for how ever long it takes, for our relationship to be what God intended for it to be. Through so many prayers, tears, anger, love, worry, and just every possible emotion a person can feel, I now know that God has given me permission to sit back and simply “be still” (Psalms 46:10).
For years now, I’ve been trying to make things work out for my own selfish desires of wanting to continue a relationship even though it’s been such a train wreck of a relationship. I have done what ever it took so that I could have some kind of contact with them, even though I knew the happiness would be short lived. I have done everything within my own power to keep things running smoothly. The problem is that no matter what I do or say, it’s wrong. No matter how much I’m “loved”, it’s only temporary. But I now can see what the key problem is. It’s that I’ve been doing things in MY OWN power to try and fix this relationship but I can’t fix it, only God can. Only God can change the hearts of any man/woman. I do not have the power to “fix” anything, only the power of God can do that.
God has been telling me for a very long time now to leave it alone and do absolutely nothing but my own selfish desires, from missing them and loving so deeply that my heart literally aches from the lack of communication, that I always gave into those desires and reached out only for it to end, the way it always does, in more heart ache and pain. Clearly I haven’t been obedient in being still and letting God have complete control. This train wreck has been on again and off again for more than two years now and every time I let my guard down and think, “alright this is it, we’re finally on the mend and beginning to heal from previous angry hurts we’ve all dealt one another, it ends in a train wreck once again.
So I finally have given up. I’ve come to my whits end. I’m not saying it’s all them but I can’t keep being the only one to apologize and admit failure. I can’t keep giving it everything I’ve got and get nothing in return. I can’t keep riding on this roller coaster ride of emotions and continuing on with the disrespect and ignorance of it all. My heart can’t take it anymore! As much as I love them, I am willing to let them go since that seems to be what they want any way. I mean love is proven by actions not mere words and their actions have proven time and again that no relationship is wanted unless I do what they want when they want. If they get their way, they are happy. If not, I’m blocked and disowned. It’s just to much anymore. Life is to short to live like that.
Proverbs 9:7-9 (ESV)
Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
Just these past few months have I been able to truly let go and let God. I was making sure to say I love you once in a while, even though it was completely ignored almost every single time, but it’s time to be obedient to God THE FATHER. It’s time to trust Him completely with this entire situation. I just can’t take the pain any longer.
I’m learning to love them from a distance and that I must be okay with that. Some days are harder than others to fight myself as to not send a text just to say I love you but they know I love them, that’s never been an issue. I’ve made sure they know I love them and they just don’t seem to care. They’ve made that perfectly clear multiple times.
I will always love them………even if only from a distance.
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Matthew 14-15 NIV is where Jesus himself, as He is teaching His followers, says “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
To fully walk with Christ you must forgive those that you’re angry at and/or that have hurt you. No easy task for us humans but when we are filled with the Holy Spirit, Gods strength gives us the ability and power to over come the world and ourselves.
Who do you need to forgive?
Through prayer and petition with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6) talk it out with God and He will help you. God knows your heart and He is listening for you to talk to him about what is bottled up inside.
We are all naturally born sinners which makes each one of us perfectly imperfect. It’s easier to live in sin than to walk with Christ yet forgiving others is a must in order to be free to roam His kingdom.
It’s a daily talk with God for me. I have to ask him repeatedly to give me His strength to let go…
While my Daddy is not a perfect man, who is, I have come to know him and love him beyond measure. He is perfectly imperfect!
My Daddy was not around much as I was growing up and even when he was around he didn’t pay much attention to us kids. Once he and my Mom got a divorce, it was like he had just disappeared from the planet. I never understood why he would not reach out to his children. For a long time, I thought it was my fault because I was the baby. I have an older sister and an older brother that I grew up with. But me being the youngest I felt like I had ruined his life, and his marriage to my Mother, and that’s why he had left us all.
I, now, know that it was not my fault.
NO CHILD SHOULD BLAME THEMSELVES FOR THEIR PARENTS DIVORCE!
In trying to locate him as teenager my Mother helped me by taking me to the local police department and giving them his information, which was a dead end, because they wouldn’t help. I even reached out to my “Granny”, his Mom, for help but she too was a dead end. I found out later that she did in fact know where he was and even knew how to get in touch with him but he had instructed her not to share any of his information with any of us. The only information she eventually told me was that my Daddy had remarried and moved to another state. I felt like he chose a new family over his own. I was so heart broken!
A few years passed by and, at this time in my life, I was now 16 years old. I got a phone call that my Pepaw (my Daddy’s Dad) was nearing the end of his life and if I wanted to see him alive, I needed to get there asap. So my Uncle Gary, whom was living with us at the time, took me to the hospital where my Pepaw was at but by the time we arrived, he had already passed away.
While there, I seen my Daddy and his wife, whom was a “friend” of my Mom’s years back, for the first time in I don’t even know how many years at this point. I am not sure that I can even explain all of the emotions that poured over me at that very moment as I stared them in their eyes. Honestly, I don’t even remember if or what I said to him in that moment. I’m sure we spoke but it had to have been brief. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I had missed getting to tell my Pepaw bye plus seeing my Daddy during that moment for the first time, that I have no memory of us even speaking. My only memory is that I seen them at the hospital.
Strange in deed but my Daddy did eventually come back into our lives once he divorced, yet again.
Anyway, jumping ahead many years, my Daddy is now one of my best friends in the whole wide world! He is an over the road truck driver of many years and lives with my husband and I when he takes his monthly days off.
I couldn’t imagine life without him now. The relationship that God has allowed me to have with him in my adult life has, by far, made up for the loss of him not being in my life as a child.
I am so thankfully grateful to God that I have my Daddy by my side now. AS believers, God is so good in how He works things out in our lives. Sometimes it’s years out before we reap the benefits from our trials but eventually we see why we had to go through the pain and sufferings in order to get to where we are in our walk with the Lord. I give Him all of the glory.