Prayer for my kiddos

Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake. I pray to the Lord my soul he take. If I should die before morning sun. Y’all always remember this mommas fun love. It’s always in your hearts so deep. Should I die in my sleep. Amen! Toodle Lou tum tums. Razzle berries. Amen. I LOVE YOU’S!!! πŸ’‹ πŸ’‹ πŸ€— πŸ«‚

Memorial Day 2022

Thank you to those that sacrificed the ultimate to keep our freedoms. May we all keep their loved ones in our thoughts and prayers always.

Never Forgotten πŸ™

Prayer

I found this prayer on Pinterest and wanted to share it on my blog for anyone that it might help.

πŸ™ AMENπŸ™

π™΄πšŸπš’πš• π™»πšžπš›πš”πšœ

πšƒπš‘πšŽπš›πšŽ πš’πšœ 𝚜𝚘 πš–πšžπšŒπš‘ πšŽπšŸπš’πš• πš’πš— πšπš‘πšŽ πš πš˜πš›πš•πš 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚒! π™½πš˜ πš˜πš—πšŽ πš’πšœ 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎 πšπš›πš˜πš– πš’πš’𝚜 πš›πšŠπšπš‘. π™ΏπšŽπš˜πš™πš•πšŽ πšŒπš‘πšŽπšŠπš, πš•πš’πšŽ, πšŠπš—πš πšœπšŒπšŠπš– πšπš‘πšŽπš’πš› 𝚠𝚊𝚒 πš’πš—πšπš˜ πšπš‘πšŽ πš’πšπš—πš˜πš›πšŠπš—πš πš–πš’πš—πšπšŽπš. 𝙸 πšπš˜πš—’𝚝 πš–πšŽπšŠπš— πš’πšπš—πš˜πš›πšŠπš—πšŒπšŽ πš’πš— 𝚊 πš‹πšŠπš 𝚠𝚊𝚒. π™Έπš πš’πšœ πš–πšŽπšŠπš—πš πš‘πšŽπš›πšŽ 𝚊𝚜 πšžπš—πš”πš—πš˜πš πš— πš˜πš› πš—πš˜πš πš”πš—πš˜πš πš’πš—πš πšŠπš‹πš˜πšžπš πšœπš˜πš–πšŽπšπš‘πš’πš—πš. π™Έπšπš—πš˜πš›πšŠπš—πšŒπšŽ πš’πšœ πšŽπšŠπšœπš’πš•πš’ πš–πšŠπš—πš’πš™πšžπš•πšŠπšπšŽπš πšŠπš—πš πšŒπš˜πš—πšπš›πš˜πš•πš•πšŽπš πš‹πš’ πš πš’πšŒπš”πšŽπšπš—πšŽπšœπšœ πš’πš— πš˜πšπš‘πšŽπš›πšœ.

π™Έπš— 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚒𝚜 πš πš˜πš›πš•πš 𝚘𝚏 πšπšŽπšŒπš‘πš—πš˜πš•πš˜πšπš’, πš’πš πš’πšœ πš˜πšžπš› πš“πš˜πš‹ 𝚝𝚘 πš™πš›πš˜πšπšŽπšŒπš πš˜πšžπš›πšœπšŽπš•πšŸπšŽπšœ, πšŠπš—πš πš˜πš—πšŽ πšŠπš—πš˜πšπš‘πšŽπš›, 𝚊𝚜 πš‹πšŽπšœπš 𝚠𝚎 πšŒπšŠπš— πšπš›πš˜πš– πšœπšžπšŒπš‘ πšπšŽπšŒπšŽπš’πšπšπšžπš•πš•πš—πšŽπšœπšœ πšŠπš—πš πšžπšπš•πš’πš—πšŽπšœπšœ πšπš‘πšŠπš πš’πšœ πš’πš— πšπš‘πšŽ πš πš˜πš›πš•πš 𝚠𝚎 πšŠπš›πšŽ πšπš˜πš›πšŒπšŽπš 𝚝𝚘 πš•πš’πšŸπšŽ πš’πš—.

π™½πš˜πš πšŠπš•πš πšŠπš’πšœ πš’πšœ πš’πš 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒 𝚝𝚘 πš‹πšŽπš•πš’πšŽπšŸπšŽ πšπš‘πšŠπš πšœπš˜πš–πšŽπš˜πš—πšŽ πš‘πšŠπšœ πš–πšŠπšπšŽ 𝚊 πšπš˜πš˜πš• 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚘𝚞 πš‹πšžπš πš’πš πš‘πšŠπš™πš™πšŽπš—πšœ 𝚝𝚘 πšπš‘πšŽ πš‹πšŽπšœπš 𝚘𝚏 𝚞𝚜. π™Έπš πš’πšœ πš—πšŽπšŸπšŽπš› 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒 𝚝𝚘 πšŠπšπš–πš’πš πš–πš’πšœπšπšŠπš”πšŽπšœ 𝚠𝚎’𝚟𝚎 πš–πšŠπšπšŽ πšπš›πš˜πš– πšœπšžπšŒπš‘ πš’πšπš—πš˜πš›πšŠπš—πšŒπšŽ 𝚘𝚏 πšπš‘πšŽ πšœπš’πšπšžπšŠπšπš’πš˜πš—, πš‹πšžπš πš’πš πš‘πšŠπš™πš™πšŽπš—πšœ 𝚝𝚘 πš™πšŽπš˜πš™πš•πšŽ πšπšŠπš’πš•πš’ πšŠπš›πš˜πšžπš—πš πšπš‘πšŽ πš πš˜πš›πš•πš. π™΄πš–πš‹πšŠπš›πš›πšŠπšœπš–πšŽπš—πš & πšπšŠπš’πš•πšžπš›πšŽ πšŠπš›πšŽ πš›πšŽπšŠπš• πšπšŽπšŽπš•πš’πš—πšπšœ πšπš‘πšŠπš πš‘πšŠπšŸπšŽ 𝚝𝚘 πš‹πšŽ πš˜πšŸπšŽπš›πšŒπš˜πš–πšŽ πš‹πš’ πš•πš˜πšŸπšŽ πšŠπš—πš πšŠπšπš–πš’πš›πšŠπšπš’πš˜πš— πšπš›πš˜πš– πšπš‘πš˜πšœπšŽ πš’πš— πš’πš˜πšžπš› πš’πš—πš—πšŽπš› πšŒπš’πš›πšŒπš•πšŽ πšπš‘πšŠπš πšŠπš›πšŽ πš πš’πš•πš•πš’πš—πš 𝚝𝚘 πšŽπš—πš•πš’πšπš‘πšπšŽπš— πšŠπš—πš πšπšŽπšŠπšŒπš‘ 𝚞𝚜 πšŠπš‹πš˜πšžπš πšπš‘πšŽ πšžπš—πš”πš—πš˜πš πš— πš‘πšŠπš™πš™πšŽπš—πš’πš—πšπšœ πšπš˜πš’πš— πš˜πš— πš’πš— πš˜πšžπš› πš˜πš πš— πš•πš’πšŸπšŽπšœ. πš‚πš˜πš–πšŽπšπš’πš–πšŽπšœ πš•πš˜πšŸπšŽπš πš˜πš—πšŽπšœ πšŒπšŠπš— 𝚜𝚎𝚎 πšπš‘πšŽ πš‘πšŠπš™πš™πšŽπš—πš’πš—πšπšœ 𝚘𝚏 πš πš‘πšŠπš 𝚠𝚎 πš˜πšžπš›πšœπš•πšŽπšŸπšŽπšœ πšŠπš›πšŽ πš‹πš•πš’πš—πšπšŽπš 𝚝𝚘. π™Έπš— πš•πš˜πšŸπšŽ, 𝚠𝚎 πšŠπš›πšŽ 𝚝𝚘 πšœπš™πšŽπšŠπš” πš πš‘πšŠπš 𝚠𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚊𝚜 πš˜πšžπšπšœπš’πšπšŽπš›πšœ πš•πš˜πš˜πš”πš’πš—πš πš’πš—. πš†πšŽ πšŠπš›πšŽ πš—πš˜πš πš‹πšŽ πš“πšžπšπšπšŽπš–πšŽπš—πšπšŠπš• πš’πš— πšŠπš—πš’ 𝚠𝚊𝚒 πš‹πšžπš πš˜πš—πš•πš’ 𝚝𝚘 πš‹πšŽ πšπšŽπš—πšžπš’πš—πšŽ πšŠπš—πš πš•πš˜πšŸπš’πš—πšπš•πš’ πšŒπš˜πš—πšŒπšŽπš›πš—πšŽπš. πš†πšŽ πšŠπš›πšŽ πšŠπš•πš• πšŒπšŠπš•πš•πšŽπš 𝚝𝚘 πš•πš˜πšŸπšŽ, πš‘πš˜πš—πš˜πš›, πšŠπš—πš πš›πšŽπšœπš™πšŽπšŒπš πš˜πš—πšŽ πšŠπš—πš˜πšπš‘πšŽπš›, πšŽπšœπš™πšŽπšŒπš’πšŠπš•πš•πš’ πš πš‘πšŽπš— 𝚠𝚎 πš—πšŽπšŽπš πš‘πšŽπš•πš™ πšŠπšπšπšŽπš› πš‘πšŠπšŸπš’πš—πš πš‹πšŽπšŽπš— πš–πšŠπš—πš’πš™πšžπš•πšŠπšπšŽπš πš’πš— πšœπšžπšŒπš‘ πšžπš—πšπš˜πš›πšŽπšœπšŽπšŽπš— 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚜.

π™ΏπšŽπš˜πš™πš•πšŽ πšŠπš›πšŽ πšŒπš›πšžπšŽπš•. π™ΏπšŽπš˜πš™πš•πšŽ πšŠπš›πšŽ πšœπšŽπš•πšπš’πšœπš‘. π™ΏπšŽπš˜πš™πš•πšŽ πšŠπš›πšŽ πš•πš’πšŠπš›πšœ. π™ΏπšŽπš˜πš™πš•πšŽ πš πš’πš•πš• πš‘πšžπš›πš πš˜πš—πšŽ πšŠπš—πš˜πšπš‘πšŽπš›, πšœπš˜πš–πšŽ πšπš’πš–πšŽπšœ πš πš’πšπš‘ πš£πšŽπš›πš˜ πš›πšŽπš–πš˜πš›πšœπšŽ πšπš˜πš› πšπš‘πšŽπš’πš› πšŠπšŒπšπš’πš˜πš—πšœ. π™±πšžπš πš—πšŽπšŸπšŽπš› πš‹πšŽ 𝚜𝚘 πšπšŽπšœπš™πšŽπš›πšŠπšπšŽ πš˜πš› πšœπšπšŠπš›πšŸπšŽπš πšπš˜πš› πšŠπšπšπšŽπš—πšπš’πš˜πš— πšπš‘πšŠπš 𝚒𝚘𝚞’πš›πšŽ πš‹πš•πš’πš—πšπšŽπš πš‹πš’ 𝚒𝚘𝚞’πš›πšŽ πš˜πš πš— πšπšŽπšŽπš•πš’πš—πšπšœ 𝚘𝚏 πš‹πšŽπš’πš—πš “πšŒπš‘πš˜πšœπšŽπš—” πš‹πš’ 𝚊 πšœπšπš›πšŠπš—πšπšŽπš›, πšŽπšœπš™πšŽπšŒπš’πšŠπš•πš•πš’ πšŠπš— πš˜πš— πš•πš’πš—πšŽ πšœπšπš›πšŠπš—πšπšŽπš›. πš…πšžπš•πš—πšŽπš›πšŠπš‹πš’πš•πš’πšπš’ πšŠπš—πš πš•πš˜πš—πšŽπš•πš’πš—πšŽπšœπšœ πšŒπšŠπš— πšŒπš›πšŽπšŠπšπšŽ πš‹πš•πš’πš—πš πš’πšπš—πš˜πš›πšŠπš—πšŒπšŽ πšπš‘πšŠπš πš πš’πš•πš• πš–πšŠπš”πšŽ 𝚞𝚜 πšŠπš— 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒 πšπšŠπš›πšπšŽπš 𝚝𝚘 πš‹πšŽ πš™πš›πšŽπš’πšŽπš πšžπš™πš˜πš— πšπš›πš˜πš– πšπš‘πšŽ πšŽπš—πšŽπš–πš’.

π™°πš•πš πšŠπš’πšœ πš™πš›πšŠπš’ πšŠπš—πš πšœπšŽπšŽπš” π™Άπš˜πšπšœ πšŠπšπšŸπš’πšŒπšŽ πš‹πšŽπšπš˜πš›πšŽ πšŽπšŸπšŽπš› πšπšŽπšπšπš’πš—πš 𝚜𝚘 πš’πš—πšŸπš˜πš•πšŸπšŽπš πš’πš— πšπš‘πšŽπš’πš› πšπšŠπš–πšŽ πšπš‘πšŠπš 𝚒𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 πš‹πš•πš’πš—πšπšŽπš πš‹πš’ πšπš‘πšŽπš’πš› πšπš•πš˜πš πš’πš—πš, πš–πšŽπšœπš–πšŽπš›πš’πš£πš’πš—πš πšπšŠπšŒπšπš’πšŒπšœ. πšƒπš‘πšŽπš— πšπš‘πšŽπš’ πšŠπš›πšŽ πšŠπš•πš•πš˜πš πšŽπš 𝚝𝚘 πš‹πšŽπšπš’πš— πš›πšŽπšŽπš•πš’πš—πš 𝚒𝚘𝚞 πš’πš— πšŠπš—πš πš’πš πš‘πšŠπš™πš™πšŽπš—πšœ 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝 πšπš‘πšŠπš 𝚒𝚘𝚞 πšŒπš•πš’πš—πš πš˜πš— πšπš˜πš› πšπšŽπšŠπš› πš•πš’πšπšŽ.

πšπšŽπš–πšŽπš–πš‹πšŽπš›: π™Έπš πšœπš˜πš–πšŽπšπš‘πš’πš—πš πšœπšŽπšŽπš–πšœ 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚝𝚘 πš‹πšŽ πšπš›πšžπšŽ, πš’πš πš™πš›πš˜πš‹πšŠπš‹πš•πš’ πš’πšœ.

π™½πšŽπšŸπšŽπš› πš‹πšŽ 𝚝𝚘 πšŠπšπš›πšŠπš’πš 𝚝𝚘 πšœπšŽπšŽπš” 𝚘𝚞𝚝 πšŠπšπšŸπš’πšŒπšŽ πšŠπš—πš πšœπšžπš™πš™πš˜πš›πš πšπš›πš˜πš– πš’πš˜πšžπš› πš’πš—πš—πšŽπš› πšŒπš’πš›πšŒπš•πšŽ 𝚘𝚏 πš•πš˜πšŸπšŽπš πš˜πš—πšŽπšœ. “𝚁𝚎𝚍 π™΅πš•πšŠπšπšœ” πšπšŽπšŽπš•πš’πš—πšπšœ πšŠπš›πšŽ πšπš’πšŸπšŽπš— 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚜 πšπš˜πš› πš›πšŽπšŠπšœπš˜πš—πšœ 𝚝𝚘 πš™πš›πš˜πšπšŽπšŒπš πš˜πšžπš›πšœπšŽπš•πšŸπšŽπšœ. πšˆπš˜πšžπš› πš’πš—πš—πšŽπš› πšŒπš’πš›πšŒπš•πšŽ πšŒπšŠπš— 𝚜𝚎𝚎 πšπš‘πš’πš—πšπšœ 𝚒𝚘𝚞 πšŒπšŠπš—’𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚎 πšπš‘πš›πš˜πšžπšπš‘ πš’πš˜πšžπš› πš˜πš πš— πš‹πš•πš’πš—πšπš—πšŽπšœπšœ.

πšƒπš›πšžπšœπš π™Άπš˜πš, πšπš’πš›πšœπš πšŠπš—πš πšπš˜πš›πšŽπš–πš˜πšœπš, πš‹πšŽπšŒπšŠπšžπšœπšŽ π™·πšŽ πš πš’πš•πš• πš—πšŽπšŸπšŽπš› πš•πšŽπšŠπšŸπšŽ 𝚞𝚜 πš—πš˜πš› πšπš˜πš›πšœπšŠπš”πšŽ 𝚞𝚜. π™ΉπšŽπšœπšžπšœ πš’πšœ πšƒπ™·π™΄ π™Ύπ™½π™»πšˆ πš–πšŠπš— 𝚝𝚘 πšŽπšŸπšŽπš› πš•πš’πšŸπšŽ 𝚊 πš™πšŽπš›πšπšŽπšŒπš πš•πš’πšπšŽ πš’πš— πšπš‘πš’πšœ πšŽπšŸπš’πš• πš πš˜πš›πš•πš. π™΄πšŸπš’πš• πš•πšžπš›πš”πšœ πšŠπš›πš˜πšžπš—πš πš•πš˜πš˜πš”πš’πš—πš πšπš˜πš› πšŠπš—πš’πš˜πš—πšŽ πš πšŽπšŠπš” πšŽπš—πš˜πšžπšπš‘ 𝚝𝚘 πš‹πšŽ πšπšŽπšŸπš˜πšžπš›πšŽπš.

πšƒπš‘πšŽπš›πšŽ’𝚜 πšŠπš— πš˜πš•πšŽ πšœπšŠπš’πš’πš—πš πšπš‘πšŠπš 𝚐𝚘𝚎𝚜 πšœπš˜πš–πšŽπšπš‘πš’πš—πš πš•πš’πš”πšŽ πšπš‘πš’πšœ; “π™΅πš˜πš˜πš• πš–πšŽ πš˜πš—πšŒπšŽ πšœπš‘πšŠπš–πšŽ πš˜πš— 𝚒𝚘𝚞. π™΅πš˜πš˜πš• πš–πšŽ πšπš πš’πšŒπšŽ πšœπš‘πšŠπš–πšŽ πš˜πš— πš–πšŽ”. π™³πš˜πš—’𝚝 πš‹πšŽ πšπš˜πš˜πš•πšŽπš πš–πš˜πš›πšŽ πšπš‘πšŠπš— πš˜πš—πšŒπšŽ πš‹πš’ πšπš‘πšŽ πšœπšŠπš–πšŽ πšπšŠπš–πšŽ πš‹πšŽπš’πš—πš πš™πš•πšŠπš’πšŽπš πšŠπšπšŠπš’πš—πšœπš 𝚒𝚘𝚞. πš†πšŽ πšŠπš›πšŽ πšŠπš•πš• πš™πš˜πš—πšœ πšπš˜πš› πšπš‘πšŽ πš πš’πšŒπš”πšŽπš 𝚝𝚘 πšπš›πš’ πšŠπš—πš πšπšŠπš”πšŽ πšŒπš˜πš—πšπš›πš˜πš• πš’πš— πš˜πšžπš› πš˜πš πš— πšπšŠπš–πšŽ 𝚘𝚏 πš•πš’πšπšŽ.

πš‚πšπšŠπš’ 𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 πš˜πš— π™ΉπšŽπšœπšžπšœ πš’πšŠπš•πš•! π™·πšŽ πš’πšœ πšπš‘πšŽ 𝚠𝚊𝚒 πš–πšŠπš”πšŽπš›. π™·πšŽ πš’πšœ πšπš›πšžπšπš‘! π™·πšŽ πš’πšœ πš•πš’πšπšŽ! π™ΉπšŽπšœπšžπšœ πš’πšœ πšπš‘πšŽ πš˜πš—πš•πš’ 𝚠𝚊𝚒 𝚝𝚘 πš˜πšžπš› π™»πš˜πš›πš π™Άπš˜πš; πšƒπ™·π™΄ π™»π™Ύπšπ™³ 𝙢𝙾𝙳.

π™ΏπšŽπš›πšπšŽπšŒπšπš’πš˜πš— πš’πšœ πš’πš–πš™πš˜πšœπšœπš’πš‹πš•πšŽ πš‹πšžπš 𝚠𝚎 πš–πšžπšœπš πšœπšπš›πš’πšŸπšŽ πšπš˜πš πšŠπš›πš πš’πš πšŠπš—πš’ 𝚠𝚊𝚒.

π™·πš˜πš•πš πš’πš˜πšžπš› πš‘πšŽπšŠπš πšžπš™ πš‘πš’πšπš‘ 𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚘𝚞 πš•πš˜πš˜πš” 𝚝𝚘 πšπš‘πšŽ πšœπš”πš’.

π™³πš˜πš—πš πšπš’πšŸπšŽ πšŽπšŸπš’πš• 𝚊 πšπš’πšπš‘πšπš’πš—πš πšŒπš‘πšŠπš—πšŒπšŽ 𝚝𝚘 πšπš›πš’πš™ πš˜πš—πšπš˜ 𝚒𝚘𝚞.

Bitterness

Did you know that bitterness is a legit emotion? I mean I’ve heard of it, of course, but never really understood it. And I still don’t. However, it is a true feeling that needs to be addressed in order to be able to overcome it. I will be studying more on this topic and hope to share some new insight into its true meaning and Gods way, through His word, on how to overcome it.

Stay tuned…

Scripture and Prayer

Exhausted

When I wake up feeling exhausted from a good nights sleep, I know what kinda day my body is going to have. I just want to climb back in bed and sleep it off but duty calls. I will go to work anyway with affirmation of thankfulness and joy to be alive to feel the pain.

Thank you Jesus for giving me another day to live for you and share you with others.

Mothers Day 2022

Mother’s Days for me are a bit different from the traditional get togethers in celebration of Mom. I am still appreciated just from a distance. I know without a doubt that I am always loved, even when they aren’t allowing me into their lives for one reason or another.

Like any other family, we don’t always see eye to eye…but God right!?! β™₯️ God remains true to His promises so I just keep seeking for His Devine intervention and healing.

My babies and grand babies live thousands of miles away due to the military life they’ve chosen and I couldn’t be more proud of each one of them than I am today! And, while their dad and I didn’t choose this lifestyle for them we’ve always encouraged ALL of our babies, even our β€œnother” babies, to chase their dreams but to always chase after Gods will for their lives rather than their own. My motto for them, since they were very young, has been β€œalways do your very best and let God do the rest” but no matter where life takes any one them, I will forever be their biggest supporter.

My husband and I are blessed beyond belief!

It’s been a while…

Well I will be back at it, prayerfully. I took a long break from writing because what I want to write about, I think to my self that I probably shouldn’t. But it is my life and this is my blog so I can write about what’s happening in my life right!?!

Gonna keep praying about how and what to say but I am for sure ready to begin writing, journaling, blogging again.

Hurt Heart

Words hurt and can’t be taken back as I’ve learned the hard way for most of my adult life. The closer with Christ I learn to walk/live the statement in the photo has proven to be more and more accurate. We know a true Christian by how they act, respond, talk, live, etc. Jesus was the only perfect human to ever walk the earth. In saying that, we must remember that walking with Christ doesn’t make any human perfect in any way. Nor does it make us β€œbetter than” any other human on earth. It does however, mean that we should do our level best to represent Him in every way to the best of our abilities. When we do wrong or say wrong, especially when upset, angered, or frustrated, we must repent and ask forgiveness from God and the person we’ve offended intentionally or unintentionally.

Repentance (turning from wickedness and seeking Gods forgiveness) is something that we must do moment to moment on the daily. Then we must apologize to those that we’ve hurt, whether it be an intentional hurt or not! People know Christian’s by how we treat others, not by mere words alone. Words can be lies used to get something or to make a person seem like they are one way when truly they aren’t that way at all. Lies are NEVER good! A persons actions, whether hurtful or not, speak louder volume than words ever will. Don’t let your actions hinder another persons walk that is still growing in the areas you may have already matured in. We each grow at different paces. We each have our own β€œdemons”, and/or faults, that we battle on the daily.

Don’t be afraid or ashamed to admit failure and repent from it. Don’t be afraid to admit failure to another human being that you’ve wronged either. It is okay to say β€œI’m sorry! I screwed up”….(for me)once AGAIN! We’re ALL human and WE ALL screw up and make mistakes.

Tree of Memories

My Tree of Memories

When my two kids were home, I looked forward to decorating, inside and out, each and every holiday season. October 1st began the decorating season in our household. I loved putting the β€œblow ups” in the yard and changing the inside just enough to show each holiday off as a family to enjoy together.

When the day after Thanksgiving came around it was time to begin decorating our Christmas tree. Their dad and I always put the tree up together and we’d get it wrapped with its garland until our kids were old enough to help. Then I’d sit in the floor and carefully pull out each ornament to make sure each one had a hook or ribbon to be hung with. As I would hand them off to each child and their dad for them to hang on the tree, I had the pleasure of sitting and enjoying my view of them from the floor. That’s a treasured memory in my mind each and every Christmas season now that both kids are grown, married, and have a child of their own. I sometimes wonder if they, once their children are old enough, will carry on any of the traditions that we had created together when they were growing up at home.

As an empty nester now, each year I see so many different themes of beautifully decorated Christmas trees and I think to myself β€œmaybe this year I’ll do something different with mine” but I can’t bring myself to do it. Once the decorations for each holiday has been gotten out of storage, there go all of my memories, and I decide to keep my tree decorated exactly how it’s been decorated each year previously only to add one or two ornaments for that particular year.

Such lonesome frustration comes up during the process and begins to create a feeling of dread and why bother when no one is here to enjoy it with these days.

My thoughts and feelings are so different than they used to be. Now I have wishes and/or prayers that my husband, kids, and grand kids could be home especially this time of year to enjoy the process with, that I almost decide to not even decorate at all. As if the part of digging all of the decorations out of the garage isn’t painful enough, there’s the putting the tree together and making sure it’s all connected correctly. Then plugging it in to see the beauty of the lights come to life, thankfully my tree has the lights already on it, only to begin separating the branches as to fill in the β€œbig” holes. Now begins the true headache of separating each ornament and finding the hook that I purposely left on it while disassembling the previous year.

While separating each ornament is not my favorite thing to do, each year I am reminded of so many memories that come back to life in my mind all over again; memories that are not a part of my day to day living anymore. While carefully hanging each ornament on just the right branch to be sure it hangs properly, it’s placement on each branch is very important to me. The ornament has to be hung in such a way to display the correct side of the ornament and not spin around to face the inside of the tree. While the tree topper is not the same each year, it has to be placed in just the right way to be seen when looking directly on the β€œfront side”. Once the decorating is complete with the mess is all cleaned up, only then do I get to enjoy the full beauty of it all as a whole.

I love sitting, as close as my furniture placement allows, beside my beautifully decorated Christmas tree and embracing each and every memory that’s been made over the years. My all time favorite ornaments are the ones that are homemade by each child of mine. I look forward to those that I pray to receive from each grand child to be added some day. Each and every ornament placed on my tree brings back a different memory to the frontal lobes of my mind that’s been filed away with the packing it all up the year before.

So while the dread of putting all the decorations out without my family together isn’t always enjoyable for me, once it’s completed, there’s nothing I enjoy more than sitting beside my very own tree in complete silence with only the lights blinking in the darkness of the room and looking at each individual ornament only to revisit its purpose and meaning for being hung on that branch. There is no other theme that I can visualize for my Christmas tree of memories.

So tell me, what does your Christmas tree mean to you?

Motto

β€œYour society values people by how much they have; ours by how much we give away”


I just heard this in a movie and it resonates with me that this should be the motto of every true Christian.

Ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder what God means by something spoken to you by The Holy Spirit?

The other morning I was driving to work and decided to turn my radio off and ride to town in silence. I was simply talking out loud letting the Lord know that I was driving my 30 minute journey to work in silence with full expectation of hearing Him and nothing else. I stopped talking and simply listened. So often we are constantly listening to music, tv, etc, or surfing the web, Facebook, YouTube, etc and we forgot to simply listen to God. βœ‹ Anyone? 🀚

I turned around and pulled over to get this photo of Gods beauty.

So that particular morning I wanted to hear from only God. I’ve been, and continue, praying and seek His advice but I haven’t heard a response or maybe I just haven’t been listening for one. After have been driving for about ten minutes already in silence, I came to the point where I usually get to as the sun is in the process of rising. I turned and looked out my passenger window to see it’s beauty, as I always do, but that morning was different than any of them. That morning I seen the beams of light shining beautifully as the hint of sun was beginning to peek over the horizon. The grass glistened from the shine and the road seemed to never end. And it was in that very moment, that God spoke to me ever so plainly. Had I have been listening to the radio, as I do most every morning, I’d have probably missed it. I might’ve missed hearing The Lord over the radio chatter plainly speak the words β€œRise Up” to me through The Holy Spirit that dwells within me. And I’ve heard it every day since.

I sat and watched for a few minutes…

However, I’m not sure yet what exactly God is telling me by those two simple words. Who knew two words could be so hard to understand.

There are a few specific things I pray about and have for quite some time. I know that God is referencing my prayers but I just do not know how to β€œRise Up” exactly in the way God intends for me to.

I am now praying for clarity in His response, while listening more often, in total and complete silence.

Fork In The Road

Do you ever feel like you’re at a fork in your road of life and so fearful of picking the wrong path that you choose to stay straight?

I believe it’s the salad fork that has three prongs. While I’ve never understood the logic in the different prongs on forks, for this particular analogy I’m gonna choose the three pronged fork.

Suppose each individual prong is guiding you into different demential places of your life. For me, one prong continues on the path I’m on right now. I continue to follow it daily and do what is expected of me. Sure I’m happy on this path, because it makes everyone happy around me, but it’s kinda boring. That’s the middle prong. There’s no curves, it’s the strongest supported prong of the three, but it is very straight forward. Then there’s the option to choose the right prong. In the right direction, there’s a little bit of a curve but I’d be goin down a path that God has for me, which is ever changing and rarely seems to make sense to the humanist parts in me yet gets me excited about living. Then there’s a third prong that curves toward the left. Now that’s the prong that would definitely be most confusing to me. Following down the left prong would lead me in a direction that would destroy the very part of me that God wants to use. It would cause me to begin tearing apart at the seams little by little. I would eventually be led away from everything that I know and love. All of the β€œfamiliar” in life would be lost. Sure it’d be fun and adventurous for a time but eventually I’d get lonely and have regret. None of those attributes comes from God so I have no desire for that path. So in my fork in life there’s the one path that I know for sure I don’t ever wanna go down.

Now I’m left with only two prongs to choose from. There’s the path I’m on in the middle that is the most stable and less terrifying because I know what to expect on it and it’s comfortable. Then there’s the scary path for me. The one that I know I’m called to be on but am terrified to choose because of the fear of the unknown and I don’t know hows. I feel like I’d have no sense of direction but it’s the path of obedience and the one I should be on, even at the risk of failure.

While I do love change and challenges in life, the scariest change for me is the fear of losing those that I love and feeling like a failure all over again. In that fear, it keeps me on the path of least resistance. It also causes me to miss out on so many blessings that God has for me. I know He has blessings awaiting me because He has shown them to me. What I don’t know is how to let go and let God work His magic. How do I follow a path that I fear of messing up on? I don’t wanna let God down again. I don’t wanna fail with something He’s entrusted me with again.

How do I trust God more than I doubt myself? I allow myself to cause such self doubt that it has me paralyzed. Having such doubt and absolutely no confidence in myself of choosing the β€œright thing” from God, and knowing how to do what He’s requesting of me, that is keeping me on the middle prong in my own fork in the road.

2021 Memorial Day

Memorial Day

I hope we all enjoy our Memorial Day but please don’t say to have a happy one.

It’s not such a β€œHappy” day for oh so many of those loved ones left behind. I pray that each one of them have peace in their hearts knowing their soldier, marine, airman, etc., died knowing the sacrifices they chose would forever reign. I would to say a heartfelt thank you to them all.

Relationships

Even when it hurts…

I watched a movie this evening that I had watched before but forgotten most of the scenes of. After it started I remembered the story line but decided to watch it again anyway just to refresh my memory of how it all played out. Plus, I figured, given that it’s also a comedy it’s a win win cuz who doesn’t love to laugh right!?!

Without going into the name of it, it’s actors, etc., I’ll attempt to sum it up in a brief explanation, to the best of my ability, and make the point that I got out of it.

The movie from my prospective, in short, is about a woman that has excelled in her career without having had much education at all. However, in her attempt to β€œclimb the ladder” of her success it seems she had hit a rather unremovable road block. Her life long bff helps persuade her into taking a job that she had acquired through lies about her achievements. So while moving out the door of her stale career path and heading into a remarkable world of opportunity that turned out to be, in the end, the best thing that had ever happened to her she’s had a HUGE encounter with someone from her past. While falling in love with her new found daughter, she’d given up for adoption in her teenage years, she seems to have lost any future with the love of her life and boyfriend of five years. However, her career is at an all time high until…all the lies and hidden secrets begin to unravel.

Of course I’m leaving out the majority of the movie as to not ruin it for any of you that haven’t watched it. If you have watched it then you’ll know the movie I’m writing about and may decide to watch again yourself.

Now, stick with me and let’s move on.

The moral I got from the movie is sort of a β€œpunch line” said during the movie by the boyfriend. Their relationship began on a lie, or rather a hidden secret that she never told him about, and one that she similarly repeats in the overwhelming love that she’s acquired for her new found daughter.

β€œNo relationship based on lies will ever survive” packs a powerful punch to me. It is what the boyfriend says to her at one point during the movie. That statement has resonated with me ever since I heard him say it while watching the movie. It’s on repeat in my brain now as I’ve been pondering why it’s stuck there.

So let’s now shift from the movie and into my own life’s relationships. Again, without going into extreme details and, of course, no names will be given but it has given me one of those β€œπŸ’‘β€ moments as it plays over and over again in my brain.

It has become one of those β€œTADAAAAA” moments to me all of a sudden but I now understand a particular relationship that I’ve been at such a loss about in my life for several years now. A relationship that started out beautifully but has become a thorn that I can’t seem to get to fester for healing. One that has destroyed a part of me that idk if I’ll ever be the same from. As I live and breathe it’s oxygen sucking toxicity at times, I have a love for it that is confusingly exhausting to me when I attempt to understand it. It’s one of those love/hate relationships that tonight I FINALLY get. I finally understand it somewhat πŸ™„ Duh πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ It’s because ANY and all relationships built on lies will never last.

What a powerful statement that is.

Nehemiah

Gods Word

Have you ever read through the entire book of Nehemiah in the Bible?

Well, I hadn’t until tonight.

So so good!

In reading through Nehemiah tonight I’ve come to realize that lots of the same struggles I, and the world, face day to day is very similar to what they faced in the days Jesus walked the earth.

Is that not weirdly exciting to you! I mean we aren’t facing a single thing that hasn’t already been faced and walked through with God. That’s absolutely GOOD GOOD NEWS y’all!

Any-who; As I was reading, one of things that stuck out to me the most is how Nehemiah would pray before each response to the enemies. I highlighted each prayer he said so that I can read them easily, especially at a quick glance.

Oh how I pray I can be more like Nehemiah, not only in his praying but in his faithfulness to God Almighty.

β€œOur God will fight for us!” 4:20b

What a great role model.

Below is my favorite prayer that I read in the book of Nehemiah. I pray that it blesses you as it did me.

Part1:Just read the highlighted prayer. It’s a fantastic read…
Part2:Finish it; Be blessed

Be sure to read the entire book as not to pick and choose the scriptures out of context.

Peace and blessings to ya, Louann

Thanksgiving 2020

Happy Thanksgiving πŸ¦ƒ

In light of the year it’s been, this Thanksgiving’s β€œthankful for’s” could be very different from years past. I know mine is but in everything we are to be thankful.

β€œRejoice always and delight in your faith; be unceasing and persistent in prayer; in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”
‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:16-18‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Scripture tells us that Jesus will have a second coming and that we should be prepared for that day, every day, because we do not know the day nor the hour of His return.

β€œBut of that [exact] day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son [in His humanity], but the Father alone. For the coming of the Son of Man (the Messiah) will be just like the days of Noah.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭24:36-37‬ ‭AMP‬‬

So for 2020’s world changing year, I am thankful that Jesus has given me a second (multiple) chance (chances) to get my affairs in order. While I am saved, this trying year has taught me that I need to prepare more than ever for Jesus’ return. Some things I thought were important to me aren’t as important as I thought while other things I thought weren’t so important are very important. Thank you Jesus for never giving up on me!

So, what are you thankful for this year? Comment below…

Another Rest

Well I’ve had another rest from blogging, and other stuff, as I’m sure y’all that follow me have noticed.

I never know when I will feel good and when I will feel awful due to this chronic pain I live with. Let’s just say that I’ve had more down days than up lately for a number of reasons. I pray to be on the track to feeling good for more than a couple days at a time now. I just never know what each day holds for me until I begin it.

I have found myself cancelling things and saying no more than ever, even when I really want to. I apologize more than ever because I just can’t!! I hate the hold this autoimmune disease has over me. It isn’t just one thing. I have a number of things that taunt me daily.

So many say there β€œwell just do this” or β€œhave you tried…” and β€œI know that feeling” when really they don’t have a clue! I don’t even try to explain anymore I just say β€œthanks for that advice” or β€œI’ll try that” just to move the conversation on from even talking about it any further. Most days I just want to scream but even that’s to exhausting. πŸ˜‚

Any-who, enough about that!!

Pray for me and my husband! Say a special prayer for those not even in my life these days, whether they’ve chosen to walk away or I’ve just distanced myself from them, to love me through it anyway.

Good night world! May God hold your hand through the hard times just as He does for me because without God, I probably wouldn’t even be here. πŸ’•

Broken and Beautiful

Kelly Clarkson sings a song called β€œBroken and Beautiful” and it is so relatable for me because I feel so broken, most days, these days BUT GOD and loved ones y’all; right!?!

Broken and Beautiful (YouTube screen shot)

I live with lots of chronic pain in my entire body, due to a few medical issues, that causes me to live with so much pain around the clock. Some days it’s β€œhide-ably” tolerable and some days it hurts to just wake up! Lots of days, I just wanna sleep and not wake up until the pain hurts no more.

So many Dr’s!!!!! So many surgeries!!!!! So many β€œLet’s Try This!” So many β€œLets Run This Test.” So many β€œXrays and blood work!” So many unknowns but let’s keep seeking for answers until I am so sick of it all!!!!!😫

My most recent surgery, just 5 weeks ago, was for them to put in a nerve stimulator implant in my back. For those that don’t know what that is, it’s a machine that’s basically an internal Tens Unit that blocks the nerve signals that go to my brain telling my brain that I feel pain. While it has helped, it’s not as helpful as we’d hoped. I would say it’s helped by maybe 30% when it’s turned on.

As I type this, it’s 2:20 A M and I can’t sleep. And since I’m awake, I feel the aches and burns going on through out my entire body. In my shoulders, arms and hands I feel aches, throbs, burns, down to my finger bones hurting so bad at times that I just shake them off and hang them down to my sides for a few seconds of that momentary cold sensational relief. Some times I just wanna take em off and set em aside for a bit, swap em out with another pair, massage them momentarily, just something for some kind of relief! This is not what the stimulator is for, that’s for my feet, legs, lower back, and hip pain (which didn’t help my left hip much at all). To be fair though, I rarely mention my shoulders, hands, and arm pains at all because there’s so much other crap that hurts way worse.

I don’t know how to explain it, all I can say is I just HURT ALL OVER and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t want sympathy. I don’t want more freaking medicine. I don’t want another dang surgery. I rarely even want to be touched but I don’t want to be rude. I don’t want to seem mean to any one. I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings. I don’t want to hurt anymore PERIOD! So, to avoid things in this paragraph, I stay home a lot more.

So much of this unexplainable pain just makes me so danged irritable at times. I have gotten to where I just avoid being around people and certain situations all together. I rarely get out and about by myself anymore because I never know from moment to moment what I’m going to be able to tolerate because the pain changes from day to day through out each and every single day. Simply put; I just hurt and I don’t want it to become an excuse for any thing in my life but it’s very debilitating at times. Thankfully though the migraines have almost completely stopped since my neck surgery was done in December of last year. So that’s a positive praise! Thank you Jesus!

I just simply have β€œunexplainable chronic pain” that’s un-relatable to anyone and everyone around me therefore it’s hard for you to understand. Just know that some days are good days for me and some days are bad but more often than not I just β€œfake the smiles” to make it through the day with as little complaining as possible because I don’t want to be a burdensome person to anyone. However, I do love deeply and I want y’all to know that I truly appreciate ALL of the prayers and support from you all! I feel ya 🀟β™₯️

To those of you that do show me true genuine love and support (not just when ya want something) through all of the β€œmaybe this’ll help” processes that I continue to go through to find relief, I love you from the depth of my being and I apologize for not being able to physically help any of you but I do pray that I’m there for you, as you are for me, to the best of my abilities because without God and y’all I don’t know how I’d cope with this life.

So thanks for just being your true selves y’all 😊 #ILYMTTYBLTT❀️