In light of the year itās been, this Thanksgivingās āthankful forāsā could be very different from years past. I know mine is but in everything we are to be thankful.
āRejoice always and delight in your faith; be unceasing and persistent in prayer; in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.ā āā1 Thessaloniansā¬ ā5:16-18ā¬ āAMPā¬ā¬
Scripture tells us that Jesus will have a second coming and that we should be prepared for that day, every day, because we do not know the day nor the hour of His return.
āBut of that [exact] day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son [in His humanity], but the Father alone. For the coming of the Son of Man (the Messiah) will be just like the days of Noah.ā āāMatthewā¬ ā24:36-37ā¬ āAMPā¬ā¬
So for 2020ās world changing year, I am thankful that Jesus has given me a second (multiple) chance (chances) to get my affairs in order. While I am saved, this trying year has taught me that I need to prepare more than ever for Jesusā return. Some things I thought were important to me arenāt as important as I thought while other things I thought werenāt so important are very important. Thank you Jesus for never giving up on me!
So, what are you thankful for this year? Comment below…
Well Iāve had another rest from blogging, and other stuff, as Iām sure yāall that follow me have noticed.
I never know when I will feel good and when I will feel awful due to this chronic pain I live with. Letās just say that Iāve had more down days than up lately for a number of reasons. I pray to be on the track to feeling good for more than a couple days at a time now. I just never know what each day holds for me until I begin it.
I have found myself cancelling things and saying no more than ever, even when I really want to. I apologize more than ever because I just canāt!! I hate the hold this autoimmune disease has over me. It isnāt just one thing. I have a number of things that taunt me daily.
So many say there āwell just do thisā or āhave you tried…ā and āI know that feelingā when really they donāt have a clue! I donāt even try to explain anymore I just say āthanks for that adviceā or āIāll try thatā just to move the conversation on from even talking about it any further. Most days I just want to scream but even thatās to exhausting. š
Any-who, enough about that!!
Pray for me and my husband! Say a special prayer for those not even in my life these days, whether theyāve chosen to walk away or Iāve just distanced myself from them, to love me through it anyway.
Good night world! May God hold your hand through the hard times just as He does for me because without God, I probably wouldnāt even be here. š
Kelly Clarkson sings a song called āBroken and Beautifulā and it is so relatable for me because I feel so broken, most days, these days BUT GOD and loved ones yāall; right!?!
Broken and Beautiful (YouTube screen shot)
I live with lots of chronic pain in my entire body, due to a few medical issues, that causes me to live with so much pain around the clock. Some days itās āhide-ablyā tolerable and some days it hurts to just wake up! Lots of days, I just wanna sleep and not wake up until the pain hurts no more.
So many Drās!!!!! So many surgeries!!!!! So many āLetās Try This!ā So many āLets Run This Test.ā So many āXrays and blood work!ā So many unknowns but letās keep seeking for answers until I am so sick of it all!!!!!š«
My most recent surgery, just 5 weeks ago, was for them to put in a nerve stimulator implant in my back. For those that donāt know what that is, itās a machine thatās basically an internal Tens Unit that blocks the nerve signals that go to my brain telling my brain that I feel pain. While it has helped, itās not as helpful as weād hoped. I would say itās helped by maybe 30% when itās turned on.
As I type this, itās 2:20 A M and I canāt sleep. And since Iām awake, I feel the aches and burns going on through out my entire body. In my shoulders, arms and hands I feel aches, throbs, burns, down to my finger bones hurting so bad at times that I just shake them off and hang them down to my sides for a few seconds of that momentary cold sensational relief. Some times I just wanna take em off and set em aside for a bit, swap em out with another pair, massage them momentarily, just something for some kind of relief! This is not what the stimulator is for, thatās for my feet, legs, lower back, and hip pain (which didnāt help my left hip much at all). To be fair though, I rarely mention my shoulders, hands, and arm pains at all because thereās so much other crap that hurts way worse.
I donāt know how to explain it, all I can say is I just HURT ALL OVER and I donāt know why. I donāt know how to explain it. I donāt want sympathy. I donāt want more freaking medicine. I donāt want another dang surgery. I rarely even want to be touched but I donāt want to be rude. I donāt want to seem mean to any one. I donāt want to hurt anyones feelings. I donāt want to hurt anymore PERIOD! So, to avoid things in this paragraph, I stay home a lot more.
So much of this unexplainable pain just makes me so danged irritable at times. I have gotten to where I just avoid being around people and certain situations all together. I rarely get out and about by myself anymore because I never know from moment to moment what Iām going to be able to tolerate because the pain changes from day to day through out each and every single day. Simply put; I just hurt and I donāt want it to become an excuse for any thing in my life but itās very debilitating at times. Thankfully though the migraines have almost completely stopped since my neck surgery was done in December of last year. So thatās a positive praise! Thank you Jesus!
I just simply have āunexplainable chronic painā thatās un-relatable to anyone and everyone around me therefore itās hard for you to understand. Just know that some days are good days for me and some days are bad but more often than not I just āfake the smilesā to make it through the day with as little complaining as possible because I donāt want to be a burdensome person to anyone. However, I do love deeply and I want yāall to know that I truly appreciate ALL of the prayers and support from you all! I feel ya š¤ā„ļø
To those of you that do show me true genuine love and support (not just when ya want something) through all of the āmaybe thisāll helpā processes that I continue to go through to find relief, I love you from the depth of my being and I apologize for not being able to physically help any of you but I do pray that Iām there for you, as you are for me, to the best of my abilities because without God and yāall I donāt know how Iād cope with this life.
So thanks for just being your true selves yāall š #ILYMTTYBLTTā¤ļø
When we take our eyes off Jesus and focus on self, most of this worldly pain is unbearable.
We must continue the path that God has us on because only He knows the lessons we are to learn and the many lives thatāll be touched by our obedience to Him.
Pain hurts, no matter the reasoning! The lack of understanding that we have toward said pain is why we begin to question God and what Heās allowing to take place in our lives. Itās not until we begin to fully trust Him that the pain becomes tolerable.
Keep your eyes off the world! Stay true to who you are in Christ! While things wonāt always make sense, itāll always be worth it because thereās always life lessons to learn thatāll strengthen our trust and faith in Jesus.
I donāt know how Iām suppose to feel but I can tell you how I do feel.
A couple of days ago now the news was shared, on a Facebook group that Iām in, about a wreck that took place locally. There were only four comments posted before the comment thread had been turned off as to not allow any more comments, yet the headline simply read āCar Accidentā with the picture below attached to it.
Injury Accident. Pick up truck vs car.
Accidents, in many forms, come about so frequently these days that I never stop to ponder any more if it could be anyone that I may know. I just always have the mind set, with technology today, that surely Iād know by now if it was anyone that Iām close to or related to.
When I read headlines and/or comments about anything like this that takes place, I immediately feel sad for those involved, in any way, but I will usually pray something simple like āGod please be with those affected by this and allow them to all be okayā and scroll on as I did with this one.
When my daughter was little she was very active in little league softball, summer league tournament softball, Jr High and High school softball, as well as dance, and even cheerleading. All the way up through her senior year she remained very active in softball and dance, in any way she possibly could, because they were her two favorite things to do. So there were so many of her coaches, teachers, class mates, and even parents that have touched my life and have remained a part of my heart even after all of these years.
Through out my daughters upbringing, she is now 23 and married herself, many of her classmates will forever remain in my heart as Iāve been able to share in their own upbringing and life experiences not only through real life but also through social media life. This allows me to still be able to smile for the joys in their lives and makes me feel that I still get to be a small part of their own life happenings. Through this, even when they donāt know it, Iām cheering them on like I used to do from the side lines and I still get to witness and share in their own life happiness. Thatās one of the biggest perks of social media in my opinion.
But rarely do I get to witness or get to be a small part of their heartbreaks and life shattering moments. This is because most people, me included, donāt like to share the true vulnerable parts of their lives for the world to see. We donāt want to let people see inside of our pain and heartaches because they would for sure judge us. Plus that would taint our own outward image of ourselves that we want people to see right. Not that itās a bad thing necessarily, itās just how life works for so many of us in todayās world.
As Iām typing this, through so many tears flowing down my face, my own heart feels shattered into many pieces for one particular young lady and her family that touched my heart from my daughters upbringing. She has been a part of my heart from my daughters very first year of little league softball. āGod please continue to wrap Your arms around them all as they need You now more than ever before!! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!ā
Anyway, when I read that āCar Accidentā headline never did I imagine that one of my daughters classmates lives, especially one that I have personally loved since they were in elementary school as well as loving her parents still to this day, would be changed forever!!
It appears as if theyāve been able to overcome the world together with God as their anchor. God mustāve continued to bring them back to one another because, the way I understand what I was reading typed in their own words, itās as if God intervened for their relationship to be. God mustāve brought them back to a sense of forgiveness and security with another because He completely healed their relationship for reasons unbeknownst to many of us looking into theirs lives through Facebook. Itās as if God continued to carry them through all the heartache and love the two of them have for one another and even gave them a beautiful baby girl to cherish together in that love. Both of them seem to give God all of the glory for their successful relationship and now parenthood as well.
And as I scrolled through Facebook, two days later now, for reasons that we are never meant to question or understand the three of them were involved in this car accident together as one happy little family only for the young man not to make it!?!
Like āWHATā!?!
Instinctively I want to know why. I want to know what happened. I want the young lady to know how much I love her. I want her parents to know my heart is shattered with them. I want to know so much, as do so many others, but God doesnāt work the way we want Him to. He doesnāt allow us to know so many things because we wouldnāt be able to handle the answers given to us.
I donāt believe that God āallowsā bad things to happen to us but I do believe that everything that happens to us, God uses for good.
So as I type this through the tears and continue to pray for all involved in any minuet way, the thing I want shared most of all, is that only God knows the answers to our why. Only God knows our future. Only God knows how long we get to live and love those that we do. Only God knows why bad things happen to good people every single day. Only God knows ALL things because we arenāt suppose to know! We couldnāt handle to know the answers to every why question that we have. What I do know is that, once the young lady heals and is released from the hospital, she and their daughter are gonna be okay…eventually.
Their baby girl was unharmed physically but she will forever now have to grow up without her biological father and the perks of having him be a active part in her life. So I pray that she grows up to know and cling to the only Father that sheāll ever need and thatās God The Father.
More of what I do know is that this family is a God fearing family that loves the Lord, even through their heartaches, with ever ounce of their being. I do know that their church family and community of loved ones will shower them with such agape love that they will overcome this tragedy and be stronger in their faith because of it. I do know that God will continue to help them heal as a family together. I do know that I am a better person having been able to know them and witness how they love God so deeply in their own walks of life. I do know that I am thankful that God put them in our lives so many years ago. And I do know that I will continue to pray for them, as well as everyone affected by this car accident, with every thought of them that I have.
My thoughts, prayers, and love go out to each of them as I continue to love and pray for them from a distance!
My husband got me the most beautiful jewelry armoire for our anniversary! Iām so proud of it. He even picked it out himself!
The first one was delivered a few days ago but was damaged so had to send it back. Got the second one in today. This box has way more damage than the first one did so Iām praying it is not damaged. Heāll get it out when he gets in this wknd. Keeping fingers crossed. Below is a picture from the site of the one he got me. I just wanna show it off. I love that the necklace pegs are on not on the door to tangle up every time I open it.
What do yāall think?
He did good right!
Hives and Honey
Happy 24th babe! Cheers to many years to come. #ilymttybltt
I woke up this morning with the song āBuild My Lifeā by Housefires in my heart. I donāt know about you but when I wake up with songs in my head like this, I have to listen to it multiple times right then because, to me, I take it as a sign from Holy Spirit that the lyrics are what Heās speaking to me in that moment.
Thereās nothing like hearing from God through Holy Spirit!
What greater way to commune with God than worshipping our Lord in privacy, just you and Him, in your room. No eyes watchin you, just you and Holy!! DONāT WORSHIP FOR SHOW YALL! IF YOU CAN WORSHIP IN CHRUCH BUILDING BUT CANāT WORSHIP IN PRIVATE, CHRCK YOUR HEART!
To me, it is sooooo much greater to worship our Lord and Savior in private yāall. Thereās just a movement that is so powerful that it makes me cry, smile, laugh out loud, or fall to my knees in my prayer. Thereās just nothing like feeling in tune with Jesus in private!
Once we build our foundation on the true roots of God Almighty, we canāt be shaken. No pain in the world, no holes in your heart, no ignorance of human, no feelings of not being worthy, no sadness in the world, nothin of man kind can tear us down!! Donāt turn your eyes from Jesus! Focus on The Holy Spirit that God fills us with, instead of the aches and pains in day to day life! Live for Jesus, not your kids, not work, not anything of this world!!! Live for Jesus each and every day and He will fill you with whatās needed! MAKE IT A FIRM FOUNDATION in Christ!! Plant the roots so deep in Jesus that not even your kids can reap benefits of hurting you anymore!!
Donāt allow any pain in your heart (what ever that is for you) to take over the roots in Christ!! Strengthen your roots in Christ by reading His Word and praising Him in worship!!
HOLY THERE IS NO ONE LIKE YOU; THERE IS NONE BESIDE YOU; FILL US WITH YOUR HEART LORD!!! SHOW US ALL LORD!!! SHOW US WHO YOU ARE DURING THE TRIALS OF LIFE!!!!! HELP US TO PUT OUR TRUST IN YOU AND NOT BE SHAKEN!!! MAINTAIN OUR ROOT SYSTEM WITH YOUR LOVE!!! IN JESUS NAME, AMEN!!!
Can I just be honest for a secā¦.prob piss some of ya off but, ya know, THATāS WHAT I DO anyway right so I might as well be honestā¦if ya love me, ya know my heart is always in the right place. Youāll either let it roll off or let it stick to ya. Itāll either make sense to you or not. And if it really pisses ya off, I just wonāt hear from ya again right!?!
Itās what evvvssssssā¦
Any who, Iāve just watched this #RedNoseDay fundraiser and I love the comedy and the laughter it created this year. Itās really been very enjoyable to watch. Every year millions of dollars are raised to help children in need around the world and thatās great yāall, seriously Iām all for that! Kids do need help from adults every single day!
Moving onā¦
I get that #covid19 is horrible and itās killing many people world wide (fact is, itās not killing as many as whatās being reported because people every where are admitting to lying about it for the gain of money from the government) BUT WHERE ARE THE CELEBRITIES FOR HELPING THOSE DYING FROM ABUSE, SUICIDE, THOSE BABIES (HUMANS TOO) DYING FROM ABORTION, DYING FROM CAR WRECKS, DYING FROM OTHER ILLNESSES BESIDES CANCER(always helped and talked about. I donāt mean that derogatory; itās a good thang), THAT LIST COULD GO ON AND ON AND ONā¦I MEAN SERIOUSLY YALL, CāMON ALREADYā¦ENOUGH WITH THE POUR PITIFUL CORONAVIRUS āINVASIONā!! PEOPLE EVERYWHERE ARE NOW USING CORONAVIRUS AS A TOOL AND TRYING TO MAKE THE WELL PEOPLE FEEL GUILTY OR SOMETHING FOR NOT BEING SICK! IT SUCKS!!! WE ALL KNOW IT SUCKS!!! BUT WE ARE SMART PEOPLES (well mostly)!! WE NOW KNOW WHAT HELPS AS A PREVENTATIVE! USE WHAT YOUāVE BEEN TAUGHT THAT WORKS! It is sad that people are dying from it, but the MAJORITY of the ill people are NOT DYING from it. People everywhere are dying from much worse and the world hasnāt gone āALL OUTā (literally) because of it. The world has kept going and living their lives because thatās what we do. Help those ya can, pray for everyone, use your dadgum BRAINS (that God gave you) and try to prevent yourself and your family from getting sick (which we do every single day anyway) from COVID, or any other airborne illness thatās out there, and MOVE ON WITH LIFE!! If youāre alive, GOD AINāT DONE WITH YOU YET!!! GET OUT THERE AND MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELVES! HELP OTHERS!! GET HELP IF YA NEED TO!!!
SHARE THE GOOD NEWS OF JESUS WITH ANYONE THATāLL LISTEN!! LEAN OF GOD, NOT MANKIND!! MANKIND IS A DAILY LET DOWNā¦.GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU!!
Ok, Iām done now. I feel better getting that off my chest.
Our first official ādate nightā for 2020 was at a Chilis and man was it delicious! I ate every single bite on my plate and thatās rare for me. We even topped off with a shareable slice of cheesecake!
First off let me just say it was so nice to be able to officially āeat outā in a restaurant again! This was the first time in over two months that weāve been able to ādine inā in Texas.
It was very strange though!
The parking lot had an area designated for pick up only, which left about half for dine in parking. Getting take out to go has been the ONLY way to eat out at all for quite some time now.
We didnāt think much of how the parking lot was set so we just parked where we could and walked inside, not knowing what to expect once we got in there. Governor Abbott has okayed Texans to dine out once again as long as the proper steps are followed for safety and to slow the spread of the Coronavirus.
When we walked in, a young guy met us at the inside door and stopped us from going any further. He was wearing a mask and gloves with paper and pen in hand. He took our name and cell number and said weād have to wait out in our vehicle because they arenāt allowing anyone to wait in the waiting area inside for now. Understandable I guess givin the ways of the world right now. He said theyād text us when a table for two opened up and we could come back inside then. So we gave him our info and went back to our truck. We waited right at ten minutes, not bad, then we got the text that it was our turn.
So off we go back inside for our wonderful date night supper.
The feeling in the air when we walked in was so strange! They didnāt have a lot of staff that we could see. They had every other table taped off with an x in red tape that covered the table tops. The music wasnāt as ear piercing loud as normal either. I guess because there wasnāt enough chatter happening to echo and bounce off the walls for them to drown out with the music like theyād normally have to.
Every person working was wearing a mask and gloves. You could tell even the staff was uncomfortable and uncertainty loomed over the entire place while signs of appreciation, just for the ability to be working, glistened from their smiles.
We were seated in a booth and our waitress quickly came over and handed us ONE paper menu and stated that they are only giving one menu for every two people and then they toss it into the trash. She was so very nice in explaining their ānew normalā as she handed us our drinks and silver ware packets. But she did say she didnāt truly understand the need for it all.
Once we got our appetizer, the salsa dish was served in a āthrow awayā container. It was just weird! LoL!
Of course we ALL know why these things have changed but we donāt all UNDERSTAND the why. It makes little to no sense to so many of us, including me, why the government is being so controlling in that they are keeping everyone living and feeling so fearful to even touch a menu. Itās risky, yes, but not any riskier than it always has been when itās virus season, in my opinion.
Anyway, our waitress handled herself very well even though she told us how uncomfortable she was having to wear the mask and use the gloves. The mask makes it hard for so many of us to breathe comfortably while wearing and the gloves do absolutely nothing in stopping the spread, when they arenāt changing them after touching each and every object, so whatās the point? Itās doing more harm than good. They could just as easily use the hand sanitizer more often than to use the gloves that they arenāt changing often enough. She told us that she knew it was for her own protection so she would gladly wear it if it meant she could work and make some much needed money.
Anywho, we had a nice quiet dinner inside a restaurant that we got to leave the mess behind at. Plus, we did NOT have to cook it!
God is Good. All the time!
Texas is slowly but safely beginning to open back up and we couldnāt be more proud!
Do you believe that dreams mean something? I know some people that do and some people that donāt. Some dreams are so real sometimes that Iāve woke myself up, more than once, crying real tears. Tonight I had a strange one. It seemed so real during the dreaming time that when I finally woke up, or got woken up I should say, itās left me scratching the top of my head wondering what it means.
I wonder why we dream at all? Are they significantly purposeful ya think? Do they truly have meanings behind them?
Most nights I donāt have any dreams at all. Some nights Iāll have several in one night. Then thereās those that leave such an impression that it keeps me awake for a while before I can go back to sleep. Then thereās the very few that have left me thinkin on them for days on end.
Tonight it was one of those thatās got me thinkin, staying awake talking to God, and now writing, typing actually, it down for yāall to ponder with me.
Today was like any other day I suppose. My husband and I spent the day together. He went to town this morning to have the oil changed in our car but was back home before I woke up. Heās an early riser ALL THE TIME! I, on the other hand, enjoy sleeping in. I donāt like to be woke up. Iād rather sleep until my body decides itās had enough rest for one day. Once I did wake up though, we did our usual just hangin out around the house together kinda day. He even cooked us a wonderful supper this evening. We didnāt watch anything out of the norm on tv. Every Friday and Saturday night we watch Live PD then go to bed.
I canāt think of any reason to have the kind of dream that I had, especially to have been woken up by my husband. He said I was hollering for him so loudly that it woke him up. In my dream I know I was trying to yell and couldnāt but I didnāt know it was a dream until he woke me up.
We have two recliners side by side in our living room and, in my dream, I was still in mine but my husband had already laid down. In our bedroom we have a small window unit in and I knew Iād need to holler loud enough for him to hear me over the unit so I was trying to scream but nothing was coming out. It was so weird! It was like I was out of my body hovering over myself and I could see everything so clearly. I was in my recliner and the enemy himself was holding me down and covering my mouth. My entire body was like jello. I couldnāt move! I couldnāt talk! And I sure enough couldnāt scream! I kept trying. I tried to get up only to be shoved back down. I was trying to lift my arms and they literally, from the top view, looked like an episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants where his arms were just wavy. I had no control over them. I finally began trying to shout rebukes in the name of Jesus and I slowly began to regain control over myself. I began to sing āJesus Loves Meā as loud and mumbling as possible. The more I said Jesus and sang out loud, even though my words werenāt clear, the less the enemy had control over me. I was FINALLY free enough to stand to my feet. Once I stood up I said āSatan you must flee from me IN THE NAME OF JESUS because you have no control over meā and just like that, he fled. Then I began yelling for my husband again and thatās when he woke me up because he heard me in real life yelling his name. He asked if I was alright and told me I mustāve been dreaming then he went right back to sleep and I canāt.
I donāt know how to interpret dreams but there was one man in the Bible named Joseph that could. I wonder what heād tell me my dream meant?
