Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake. I pray to the Lord my soul he take. If I should die before morning sun. Yāall always remember this mommas fun love. Itās always in your hearts so deep. Should I die in my sleep. Amen! Toodle Lou tum tums. Razzle berries. Amen. I LOVE YOUāS!!! š š š¤ š«
emptynester
Do you hate your life?
Someone told me they hate their life the other day. My response was well I donāt hate mine. I love my life! I really do.
Life is what you make of it. If youāre negative all the time and only focus on the negative things that happen every day then youāre going to think and produce negativity in everything you do and say. What youāre putting in, through tv, games, people youāre around, etc, if itās rarely anything positive then you will only produce negative thoughts, behavior, and words say about yourself and to others.
I have told my kids their entire lives that you are who you run with because itās so true. If you run with negative youāll produce negative. In every single situation, whether it be good or bad, there is ALWAYS positive. We may not always be able to find it in the moment, but itās always in there. Negativity is easy to find. Positive is harder so we must seek it out.
So, no matter what life throws your way, choose to be joyfully happy and find the positive in each situation, instead of focusing on the bad stuff and reproducing that.
š Donāt Worry; Be Happy š It really is a choice we get to make for ourselves.
Itās been a whileā¦
Well I will be back at it, prayerfully. I took a long break from writing because what I want to write about, I think to my self that I probably shouldnāt. But it is my life and this is my blog so I can write about whatās happening in my life right!?!
Gonna keep praying about how and what to say but I am for sure ready to begin writing, journaling, blogging again.
Hurt Heart
Words hurt and canāt be taken back as Iāve learned the hard way for most of my adult life. The closer with Christ I learn to walk/live the statement in the photo has proven to be more and more accurate. We know a true Christian by how they act, respond, talk, live, etc. Jesus was the only perfect human to ever walk the earth. In saying that, we must remember that walking with Christ doesnāt make any human perfect in any way. Nor does it make us ābetter thanā any other human on earth. It does however, mean that we should do our level best to represent Him in every way to the best of our abilities. When we do wrong or say wrong, especially when upset, angered, or frustrated, we must repent and ask forgiveness from God and the person weāve offended intentionally or unintentionally.
Repentance (turning from wickedness and seeking Gods forgiveness) is something that we must do moment to moment on the daily. Then we must apologize to those that weāve hurt, whether it be an intentional hurt or not! People know Christianās by how we treat others, not by mere words alone. Words can be lies used to get something or to make a person seem like they are one way when truly they arenāt that way at all. Lies are NEVER good! A persons actions, whether hurtful or not, speak louder volume than words ever will. Donāt let your actions hinder another persons walk that is still growing in the areas you may have already matured in. We each grow at different paces. We each have our own ādemonsā, and/or faults, that we battle on the daily.
Donāt be afraid or ashamed to admit failure and repent from it. Donāt be afraid to admit failure to another human being that youāve wronged either. It is okay to say āIām sorry! I screwed upāā¦.(for me)once AGAIN! Weāre ALL human and WE ALL screw up and make mistakes.
Tree of Memories
When my two kids were home, I looked forward to decorating, inside and out, each and every holiday season. October 1st began the decorating season in our household. I loved putting the āblow upsā in the yard and changing the inside just enough to show each holiday off as a family to enjoy together.
When the day after Thanksgiving came around it was time to begin decorating our Christmas tree. Their dad and I always put the tree up together and weād get it wrapped with its garland until our kids were old enough to help. Then Iād sit in the floor and carefully pull out each ornament to make sure each one had a hook or ribbon to be hung with. As I would hand them off to each child and their dad for them to hang on the tree, I had the pleasure of sitting and enjoying my view of them from the floor. Thatās a treasured memory in my mind each and every Christmas season now that both kids are grown, married, and have a child of their own. I sometimes wonder if they, once their children are old enough, will carry on any of the traditions that we had created together when they were growing up at home.
As an empty nester now, each year I see so many different themes of beautifully decorated Christmas trees and I think to myself āmaybe this year Iāll do something different with mineā but I canāt bring myself to do it. Once the decorations for each holiday has been gotten out of storage, there go all of my memories, and I decide to keep my tree decorated exactly how itās been decorated each year previously only to add one or two ornaments for that particular year.
Such lonesome frustration comes up during the process and begins to create a feeling of dread and why bother when no one is here to enjoy it with these days.
My thoughts and feelings are so different than they used to be. Now I have wishes and/or prayers that my husband, kids, and grand kids could be home especially this time of year to enjoy the process with, that I almost decide to not even decorate at all. As if the part of digging all of the decorations out of the garage isnāt painful enough, thereās the putting the tree together and making sure itās all connected correctly. Then plugging it in to see the beauty of the lights come to life, thankfully my tree has the lights already on it, only to begin separating the branches as to fill in the ābigā holes. Now begins the true headache of separating each ornament and finding the hook that I purposely left on it while disassembling the previous year.
While separating each ornament is not my favorite thing to do, each year I am reminded of so many memories that come back to life in my mind all over again; memories that are not a part of my day to day living anymore. While carefully hanging each ornament on just the right branch to be sure it hangs properly, itās placement on each branch is very important to me. The ornament has to be hung in such a way to display the correct side of the ornament and not spin around to face the inside of the tree. While the tree topper is not the same each year, it has to be placed in just the right way to be seen when looking directly on the āfront sideā. Once the decorating is complete with the mess is all cleaned up, only then do I get to enjoy the full beauty of it all as a whole.
I love sitting, as close as my furniture placement allows, beside my beautifully decorated Christmas tree and embracing each and every memory thatās been made over the years. My all time favorite ornaments are the ones that are homemade by each child of mine. I look forward to those that I pray to receive from each grand child to be added some day. Each and every ornament placed on my tree brings back a different memory to the frontal lobes of my mind thatās been filed away with the packing it all up the year before.
So while the dread of putting all the decorations out without my family together isnāt always enjoyable for me, once itās completed, thereās nothing I enjoy more than sitting beside my very own tree in complete silence with only the lights blinking in the darkness of the room and looking at each individual ornament only to revisit its purpose and meaning for being hung on that branch. There is no other theme that I can visualize for my Christmas tree of memories.
So tell me, what does your Christmas tree mean to you?
Nehemiah
Have you ever read through the entire book of Nehemiah in the Bible?
Well, I hadnāt until tonight.
So so good!
In reading through Nehemiah tonight Iāve come to realize that lots of the same struggles I, and the world, face day to day is very similar to what they faced in the days Jesus walked the earth.
Is that not weirdly exciting to you! I mean we arenāt facing a single thing that hasnāt already been faced and walked through with God. Thatās absolutely GOOD GOOD NEWS yāall!
Any-who; As I was reading, one of things that stuck out to me the most is how Nehemiah would pray before each response to the enemies. I highlighted each prayer he said so that I can read them easily, especially at a quick glance.
Oh how I pray I can be more like Nehemiah, not only in his praying but in his faithfulness to God Almighty.
āOur God will fight for us!ā 4:20b
What a great role model.
Below is my favorite prayer that I read in the book of Nehemiah. I pray that it blesses you as it did me.
Be sure to read the entire book as not to pick and choose the scriptures out of context.
Peace and blessings to ya, Louann
Worst Flare Up To Date
Having had 3 flare ups already this month, I knew when I woke up that morning it was going to be an RA/Fibro flare kinda day but this has been the worst one yet. For what ever reason, flares are happening more often than what Iām used to. My daily meds arenāt seeming to help much anymore. š¤
When my alarm went off to begin my work day, I could barely roll over to even hit the snooze button. After snoozing a few times I managed to get myself up enough to sit up on the side of my bed to wake my body up completely. I do this every single morning but this particular morning the āstiffnessā was so intense that my body felt as if it had been injected with the thickness of molasses or something. My body seemed so heavy that the movement seemed to me as if I was moving in slow motion. It was like watching a turtle cross the road and impatiently waiting as to not kill the poor thing from trying to hurry it along. The pain radiated from each movement and felt like the heat coming off of an intense fire was racing through my joints. I knew I needed a hot shower to help get me moving a bit better or I wasnāt gonna be able to even get dressed. Usually a hot shower feels good and will loosen my joints up enough to move but that morning the shower didnāt even help me like it normally does. Not wanting to allow my body to control my day, I got dressed and went off to work pushing through the intense pain. Typically putting my mind to work offsets the miserable feeling thatās happening within my body that is unexplainable to others.
We all take a day off to play hooky once in a while. Those days are enjoyable right!?! But to take a day off or have to leave early because my body is not lining up with what my mind wants it to do is down right aggravating. I donāt like having to miss work, especially for reasons beyond my control such as a stupid flare up.
Eventually I did make it to work and wasnāt late by the 8 a m standard. However, I felt late because I am always there early to get logged into my stuff and be ready to work at 8 a m. As the day progressed, I got worse. I was beginning to convince myself that I had picked up a bug or something. I just wasnāt able to function like how a ānormalā RA/Fibro day goes for me. I had eaten breakfast and it didnāt bother me but by lunch time, I was afraid to even eat because of how I felt. My stomach was so queasy that I just didnāt want to take any chances. I hate to throw up!
As the day went on, my stomach felt more and more queasy and I began to get a mild headache from the nausea. Eventually, around 1:30, I ran to the bathroom and vomited. I felt some what better. So I thought okay, now I am good. Well it didnāt last long. I tried to stay at work to keep my mind occupied and off of the pain. Finally, around 3 I felt like I was gonna puke again so I decided it best to journey home and try to just sleep it off. After about 20 minutes of driving, takes me 35 minutes to get home, I wound up pulling over and got sick on the side of the road. Once I did make it home, I laid down and slept for almost two hour. When I woke up, I was fine. I was back to my ānormalā every day pain levels. The nausea was gone, no headache, I had some energy, I could maneuver my body and I knew that flare up had passed. I was able to eat supper and everything.
Thatās the worst flare up Iāve had to date. My first time to actually vomit from one.
Thankfully I am blessed enough to have some amazing co workers that refuse to let me allow myself to go down a āwhoa is meā, staying mad at myself for such stupidity type of a rabbit hole. They can tell when I need help and I wonāt even have to ask. They just help me. I couldnāt have asked for better co workers in my life.
Anyone living with Rheumatoid Arthritis, especially with the Fibromyalgia crap too, can relate to these types of flares. Being tired for us isnāt just the tired someone feels from a long sleepless night or a long hard days work, it is down right debilitating fatigue to the point of our mind is in a fog and our body just doesnāt work correctly. We forget, get confused, and totally go blank even on the easy stuff that just comes naturally to us on our ānormalā days. We just want to sleep š! Plus sleeping helps us to not feel the pain.
During such flare days, I wonāt even recognize that I need help most times but those that I am around the most can tell when Iām just not being myself. My husband especially. He is my rock star! I could NOT make it through this disease without such help from him and those people around me that just know, especially when the brain fog is so horrible that I donāt even recognize how āoffā my day is going, that I need help to make it through my day. They never ask what can they do, they just do!
I hate this disease and whatās happening to my body and mind that is beyond my control but I do love my life and those that God has placed in it. I would never want to do this life alone.
Thank you to those that just know. I am so grateful and love each of you beyond measure!
Thanksgiving 2020
In light of the year itās been, this Thanksgivingās āthankful forāsā could be very different from years past. I know mine is but in everything we are to be thankful.
āRejoice always and delight in your faith; be unceasing and persistent in prayer; in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.ā
āā1 Thessaloniansā¬ ā5:16-18ā¬ āAMPā¬ā¬
Scripture tells us that Jesus will have a second coming and that we should be prepared for that day, every day, because we do not know the day nor the hour of His return.
āBut of that [exact] day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son [in His humanity], but the Father alone. For the coming of the Son of Man (the Messiah) will be just like the days of Noah.ā
āāMatthewā¬ ā24:36-37ā¬ āAMPā¬ā¬
So for 2020ās world changing year, I am thankful that Jesus has given me a second (multiple) chance (chances) to get my affairs in order. While I am saved, this trying year has taught me that I need to prepare more than ever for Jesusā return. Some things I thought were important to me arenāt as important as I thought while other things I thought werenāt so important are very important. Thank you Jesus for never giving up on me!
So, what are you thankful for this year? Comment below…
Another Rest
Well Iāve had another rest from blogging, and other stuff, as Iām sure yāall that follow me have noticed.
I never know when I will feel good and when I will feel awful due to this chronic pain I live with. Letās just say that Iāve had more down days than up lately for a number of reasons. I pray to be on the track to feeling good for more than a couple days at a time now. I just never know what each day holds for me until I begin it.
I have found myself cancelling things and saying no more than ever, even when I really want to. I apologize more than ever because I just canāt!! I hate the hold this autoimmune disease has over me. It isnāt just one thing. I have a number of things that taunt me daily.
So many say there āwell just do thisā or āhave you tried…ā and āI know that feelingā when really they donāt have a clue! I donāt even try to explain anymore I just say āthanks for that adviceā or āIāll try thatā just to move the conversation on from even talking about it any further. Most days I just want to scream but even thatās to exhausting. š
Any-who, enough about that!!
Pray for me and my husband! Say a special prayer for those not even in my life these days, whether theyāve chosen to walk away or Iāve just distanced myself from them, to love me through it anyway.
Good night world! May God hold your hand through the hard times just as He does for me because without God, I probably wouldnāt even be here. š
Broken and Beautiful
Kelly Clarkson sings a song called āBroken and Beautifulā and it is so relatable for me because I feel so broken, most days, these days BUT GOD and loved ones yāall; right!?!
I live with lots of chronic pain in my entire body, due to a few medical issues, that causes me to live with so much pain around the clock. Some days itās āhide-ablyā tolerable and some days it hurts to just wake up! Lots of days, I just wanna sleep and not wake up until the pain hurts no more.
So many Drās!!!!! So many surgeries!!!!! So many āLetās Try This!ā So many āLets Run This Test.ā So many āXrays and blood work!ā So many unknowns but letās keep seeking for answers until I am so sick of it all!!!!!š«
My most recent surgery, just 5 weeks ago, was for them to put in a nerve stimulator implant in my back. For those that donāt know what that is, itās a machine thatās basically an internal Tens Unit that blocks the nerve signals that go to my brain telling my brain that I feel pain. While it has helped, itās not as helpful as weād hoped. I would say itās helped by maybe 30% when itās turned on.
As I type this, itās 2:20 A M and I canāt sleep. And since Iām awake, I feel the aches and burns going on through out my entire body. In my shoulders, arms and hands I feel aches, throbs, burns, down to my finger bones hurting so bad at times that I just shake them off and hang them down to my sides for a few seconds of that momentary cold sensational relief. Some times I just wanna take em off and set em aside for a bit, swap em out with another pair, massage them momentarily, just something for some kind of relief! This is not what the stimulator is for, thatās for my feet, legs, lower back, and hip pain (which didnāt help my left hip much at all). To be fair though, I rarely mention my shoulders, hands, and arm pains at all because thereās so much other crap that hurts way worse.
I donāt know how to explain it, all I can say is I just HURT ALL OVER and I donāt know why. I donāt know how to explain it. I donāt want sympathy. I donāt want more freaking medicine. I donāt want another dang surgery. I rarely even want to be touched but I donāt want to be rude. I donāt want to seem mean to any one. I donāt want to hurt anyones feelings. I donāt want to hurt anymore PERIOD! So, to avoid things in this paragraph, I stay home a lot more.
So much of this unexplainable pain just makes me so danged irritable at times. I have gotten to where I just avoid being around people and certain situations all together. I rarely get out and about by myself anymore because I never know from moment to moment what Iām going to be able to tolerate because the pain changes from day to day through out each and every single day. Simply put; I just hurt and I donāt want it to become an excuse for any thing in my life but itās very debilitating at times. Thankfully though the migraines have almost completely stopped since my neck surgery was done in December of last year. So thatās a positive praise! Thank you Jesus!
I just simply have āunexplainable chronic painā thatās un-relatable to anyone and everyone around me therefore itās hard for you to understand. Just know that some days are good days for me and some days are bad but more often than not I just āfake the smilesā to make it through the day with as little complaining as possible because I donāt want to be a burdensome person to anyone. However, I do love deeply and I want yāall to know that I truly appreciate ALL of the prayers and support from you all! I feel ya š¤ā„ļø
To those of you that do show me true genuine love and support (not just when ya want something) through all of the āmaybe thisāll helpā processes that I continue to go through to find relief, I love you from the depth of my being and I apologize for not being able to physically help any of you but I do pray that Iām there for you, as you are for me, to the best of my abilities because without God and yāall I donāt know how Iād cope with this life.
So thanks for just being your true selves yāall š #ILYMTTYBLTTā¤ļø
Purpose for Pain
When we take our eyes off Jesus and focus on self, most of this worldly pain is unbearable.
We must continue the path that God has us on because only He knows the lessons we are to learn and the many lives thatāll be touched by our obedience to Him.
Pain hurts, no matter the reasoning! The lack of understanding that we have toward said pain is why we begin to question God and what Heās allowing to take place in our lives. Itās not until we begin to fully trust Him that the pain becomes tolerable.
Keep your eyes off the world! Stay true to who you are in Christ! While things wonāt always make sense, itāll always be worth it because thereās always life lessons to learn thatāll strengthen our trust and faith in Jesus.
Just Venting
Can I just be honest for a secā¦.prob piss some of ya off but, ya know, THATāS WHAT I DO anyway right so I might as well be honestā¦if ya love me, ya know my heart is always in the right place. Youāll either let it roll off or let it stick to ya. Itāll either make sense to you or not. And if it really pisses ya off, I just wonāt hear from ya again right!?!
Itās what evvvssssssā¦
Any who, Iāve just watched this #RedNoseDay fundraiser and I love the comedy and the laughter it created this year. Itās really been very enjoyable to watch. Every year millions of dollars are raised to help children in need around the world and thatās great yāall, seriously Iām all for that! Kids do need help from adults every single day!
Moving onā¦
I get that #covid19 is horrible and itās killing many people world wide (fact is, itās not killing as many as whatās being reported because people every where are admitting to lying about it for the gain of money from the government) BUT WHERE ARE THE CELEBRITIES FOR HELPING THOSE DYING FROM ABUSE, SUICIDE, THOSE BABIES (HUMANS TOO) DYING FROM ABORTION, DYING FROM CAR WRECKS, DYING FROM OTHER ILLNESSES BESIDES CANCER(always helped and talked about. I donāt mean that derogatory; itās a good thang), THAT LIST COULD GO ON AND ON AND ONā¦I MEAN SERIOUSLY YALL, CāMON ALREADYā¦ENOUGH WITH THE POUR PITIFUL CORONAVIRUS āINVASIONā!!
PEOPLE EVERYWHERE ARE NOW USING CORONAVIRUS AS A TOOL AND TRYING TO MAKE THE WELL PEOPLE FEEL GUILTY OR SOMETHING FOR NOT BEING SICK! IT SUCKS!!! WE ALL KNOW IT SUCKS!!! BUT WE ARE SMART PEOPLES (well mostly)!! WE NOW KNOW WHAT HELPS AS A PREVENTATIVE! USE WHAT YOUāVE BEEN TAUGHT THAT WORKS!
It is sad that people are dying from it, but the MAJORITY of the ill people are NOT DYING from it. People everywhere are dying from much worse and the world hasnāt gone āALL OUTā (literally) because of it. The world has kept going and living their lives because thatās what we do.
Help those ya can, pray for everyone, use your dadgum BRAINS (that God gave you) and try to prevent yourself and your family from getting sick (which we do every single day anyway) from COVID, or any other airborne illness thatās out there, and MOVE ON WITH LIFE!! If youāre alive, GOD AINāT DONE WITH YOU YET!!! GET OUT THERE AND MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELVES! HELP OTHERS!! GET HELP IF YA NEED TO!!!
SHARE THE GOOD NEWS OF JESUS WITH ANYONE THATāLL LISTEN!! LEAN OF GOD, NOT MANKIND!! MANKIND IS A DAILY LET DOWNā¦.GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU!!
Ok, Iām done now. I feel better getting that off my chest.
Peace and blessings to yāall.
Good night!
Who knew?
I have discovered my love for raviolis still exists yāall!
So I ordered some of them online, thinking Iād only got a few, for my husband initially. Well little do I realize, until they came in, that I got a box of 24!! WHAT!?!
So yea, now having to eat them as to not waste them,Iāve discovered that I still LOVE me some chef boyardee raviolis. And these ones are so simple to heat up yāall. Ya just pop it right in the microwave, in its container, for just 1 short sixty second minute. Add a side of chips and/or crackers with a glass of sweet tea or your favorite beverage and viola, youāve got a one person supper, in under five minutes total, with such an easy clean up after!
Go ahead, give em a try!
You know ya want to…..
Dining Out
Our first official ādate nightā for 2020 was at a Chilis and man was it delicious! I ate every single bite on my plate and thatās rare for me. We even topped off with a shareable slice of cheesecake!
First off let me just say it was so nice to be able to officially āeat outā in a restaurant again! This was the first time in over two months that weāve been able to ādine inā in Texas.
It was very strange though!
The parking lot had an area designated for pick up only, which left about half for dine in parking. Getting take out to go has been the ONLY way to eat out at all for quite some time now.
We didnāt think much of how the parking lot was set so we just parked where we could and walked inside, not knowing what to expect once we got in there. Governor Abbott has okayed Texans to dine out once again as long as the proper steps are followed for safety and to slow the spread of the Coronavirus.
When we walked in, a young guy met us at the inside door and stopped us from going any further. He was wearing a mask and gloves with paper and pen in hand. He took our name and cell number and said weād have to wait out in our vehicle because they arenāt allowing anyone to wait in the waiting area inside for now. Understandable I guess givin the ways of the world right now. He said theyād text us when a table for two opened up and we could come back inside then. So we gave him our info and went back to our truck. We waited right at ten minutes, not bad, then we got the text that it was our turn.
So off we go back inside for our wonderful date night supper.
The feeling in the air when we walked in was so strange! They didnāt have a lot of staff that we could see. They had every other table taped off with an x in red tape that covered the table tops. The music wasnāt as ear piercing loud as normal either. I guess because there wasnāt enough chatter happening to echo and bounce off the walls for them to drown out with the music like theyād normally have to.
Every person working was wearing a mask and gloves. You could tell even the staff was uncomfortable and uncertainty loomed over the entire place while signs of appreciation, just for the ability to be working, glistened from their smiles.
We were seated in a booth and our waitress quickly came over and handed us ONE paper menu and stated that they are only giving one menu for every two people and then they toss it into the trash. She was so very nice in explaining their ānew normalā as she handed us our drinks and silver ware packets. But she did say she didnāt truly understand the need for it all.
Once we got our appetizer, the salsa dish was served in a āthrow awayā container. It was just weird! LoL!
Of course we ALL know why these things have changed but we donāt all UNDERSTAND the why. It makes little to no sense to so many of us, including me, why the government is being so controlling in that they are keeping everyone living and feeling so fearful to even touch a menu. Itās risky, yes, but not any riskier than it always has been when itās virus season, in my opinion.
Anyway, our waitress handled herself very well even though she told us how uncomfortable she was having to wear the mask and use the gloves. The mask makes it hard for so many of us to breathe comfortably while wearing and the gloves do absolutely nothing in stopping the spread, when they arenāt changing them after touching each and every object, so whatās the point? Itās doing more harm than good. They could just as easily use the hand sanitizer more often than to use the gloves that they arenāt changing often enough. She told us that she knew it was for her own protection so she would gladly wear it if it meant she could work and make some much needed money.
Anywho, we had a nice quiet dinner inside a restaurant that we got to leave the mess behind at. Plus, we did NOT have to cook it!
God is Good. All the time!
Texas is slowly but safely beginning to open back up and we couldnāt be more proud!
Dreams
Do you believe that dreams mean something? I know some people that do and some people that donāt. Some dreams are so real sometimes that Iāve woke myself up, more than once, crying real tears. Tonight I had a strange one. It seemed so real during the dreaming time that when I finally woke up, or got woken up I should say, itās left me scratching the top of my head wondering what it means.
I wonder why we dream at all? Are they significantly purposeful ya think? Do they truly have meanings behind them?
Most nights I donāt have any dreams at all. Some nights Iāll have several in one night. Then thereās those that leave such an impression that it keeps me awake for a while before I can go back to sleep. Then thereās the very few that have left me thinkin on them for days on end.
Tonight it was one of those thatās got me thinkin, staying awake talking to God, and now writing, typing actually, it down for yāall to ponder with me.
Today was like any other day I suppose. My husband and I spent the day together. He went to town this morning to have the oil changed in our car but was back home before I woke up. Heās an early riser ALL THE TIME! I, on the other hand, enjoy sleeping in. I donāt like to be woke up. Iād rather sleep until my body decides itās had enough rest for one day. Once I did wake up though, we did our usual just hangin out around the house together kinda day. He even cooked us a wonderful supper this evening. We didnāt watch anything out of the norm on tv. Every Friday and Saturday night we watch Live PD then go to bed.
I canāt think of any reason to have the kind of dream that I had, especially to have been woken up by my husband. He said I was hollering for him so loudly that it woke him up. In my dream I know I was trying to yell and couldnāt but I didnāt know it was a dream until he woke me up.
We have two recliners side by side in our living room and, in my dream, I was still in mine but my husband had already laid down. In our bedroom we have a small window unit in and I knew Iād need to holler loud enough for him to hear me over the unit so I was trying to scream but nothing was coming out. It was so weird! It was like I was out of my body hovering over myself and I could see everything so clearly. I was in my recliner and the enemy himself was holding me down and covering my mouth. My entire body was like jello. I couldnāt move! I couldnāt talk! And I sure enough couldnāt scream! I kept trying. I tried to get up only to be shoved back down. I was trying to lift my arms and they literally, from the top view, looked like an episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants where his arms were just wavy. I had no control over them. I finally began trying to shout rebukes in the name of Jesus and I slowly began to regain control over myself. I began to sing āJesus Loves Meā as loud and mumbling as possible. The more I said Jesus and sang out loud, even though my words werenāt clear, the less the enemy had control over me. I was FINALLY free enough to stand to my feet. Once I stood up I said āSatan you must flee from me IN THE NAME OF JESUS because you have no control over meā and just like that, he fled. Then I began yelling for my husband again and thatās when he woke me up because he heard me in real life yelling his name. He asked if I was alright and told me I mustāve been dreaming then he went right back to sleep and I canāt.
I donāt know how to interpret dreams but there was one man in the Bible named Joseph that could. I wonder what heād tell me my dream meant?
Frustrating Day
My morning started off pretty good. My husband and I got up and prepared to head out for the hour and a half trip to see my Rheumatologist but we were quickly halted when my husband found that our water heater had been leaking. Thankfully he seen it before we had a complete mess on our hands. The drain pan was almost to the rim full of water. It would not have made it another week until he got back so, after a few calls, he got in touch with a plumber that could replace it TODAY! WooHoo, thank ya Lord! So we gather what info we need from the old one in order to buy a new one.
We finish getting ready to go and head out.
Next stop, Dr office.
That appointment was also a frustrating ordeal. First my husband wasnāt allowed to even go inside with me, due to this covid19 crap, then the lab tech chased a vein in my right arm for a good five minutes before deciding to try my left arm for a good vein. Of course she got it the first stick only for something goofy to happen and her wind up having to chase that vein too for some reason. BUT she was finally able to get her three tubes of blood from that arm so thatās good. The tech was very nice and apologetic during it all, which I greatly appreciated, so that was helpful in keeping my frustration at a minimal. I even told her it was fine, no need to apologize because it just happens that way some times and she appreciated my understanding.
Next stop is Loweās for our brand new water heater. So thankful that we had the means necessary in order to purchase a new one but this too took longer than expected. The gentleman that helped us was very nice and LOVED to chit chat. After finally getting what we needed the nice gentleman even helped my husband get it outside and into the back of our pick up.
So, off we go for our journey back home because the plumber we were able to get in touch with will have his āhandsā to meet us there. Once the two gentlemen got the tank drained and outside, they began the install of the new one. BUT, you guessed it, they have some unexpected issues with the install and it is now going to take way longer than expected to complete the job.
Thankfully, once they are complete and outta here, all is well once again.
UNTIL it isnāt.
As I began to clean up the mess, not a big one, left behind from the job that has taken several hours to complete, I find that the new water heater is now leaking. I call the plumber and after a few ādiscussionsā on a few different calls, we both agree that itāll be fine to wait til morning for them to come back and see whatās happening now.
So my husband is back where he needs to be for work and I am off to bed to begin my morning in the morning, once more, with the water heater situation.
Moral of this story you may ask……..I just felt like sharing part of my very frustrating day with yāall and also to share that SATAN DID NOT WIN TODAY!!
Iām now off to lay my frustrations down at the feet of Jesus and have a great night of peaceful rest in spite of my frustrating day.
Hopefully yāall can do the same and have a good night!
God Is Good
Have you ever wondered if God was paying attention to you and whatās going on in your life? Have you ever felt left out or ignored by Him? Boy, I sure have and not that long ago either.
There are times when I am just so unsure of anything and everything that is happening in and to me in life that itās a struggle to even get out of bed of a morning.
But God yāall. But God is always working, even when we donāt see it.
Looking back at the most recent events in my life, there is no possible way to deny that God has been working the entire time. Scripture tells us what Jesus said to the Jews in John 5:17 (AMP). āBut Jesus answered them, āMy Father has been working until now [He has never ceased working], and I too am working.āā
What a reassuring statement.
So many times we sit back and say we trust Jesus but our actions show otherwise. This is not pleasing to God or ourselves. We must always show that we trust in our Lord, even in times of struggle and ignorance.
My husband was laid off, with little to no warning, just a couple of months ago. We were panicked and unsure of what to do. We have to have income coming in to support our household expenses. I work but itās only part time. Thatās not nearly enough to carry us.
Thankfully God provided! And just in time too. Gods timing is always the perfect timing.
John 14:1 AMP, again with Jesus talking, says āDo not let your heart be troubled (afraid, cowardly). Believe [confidently] in God and trust in Him, [have faith, hold on to it, rely on it, keep going and] believe also in Me.āā¬ā¬
My husband was able to get unemployment rather quickly, which is very rare. We had our first check within two weeks. And I was able to get more hours during the exact time frame that we needed, before being dropped back down to part time.
Totally God there yāall.
My husband began a new job April 1, making more money than he was and with the best benefits weāve ever had before.
God had to remove my husband from his old job, use the six full weeks of unemployment to prepare him for the exact timing that God had set for him to begin a brand new job, in a totally new area, with all new people. And heās loving it.
Sometimes change is good so keep an open mind when changes occur. Ask God what He wants you to do. God was working in our lives behind the scenes the entire time and He continues to do so every moment of every day.
God is so good yāall! All the time.
Laid Off
Well itās been a, some what, rather long five weeks yāall.
On February 17th 2020, my husband David was laid off from his job. His lay off had nothing to do with the Coronavirus. He went to work that Monday morning and worked two hours before being told he was being released. Iād like to say it was a shock to both of us but, unfortunately, we seen the writing on the wall long before that day got here. We would pray daily for God to allow David to be able to keep his job all the while knowing in our hearts that it wouldnāt be safe for very long.
David was employed by a rather small company and they had already let a few people go several weeks prior. Most of the employees are family in some way or another, not all of them, and those that arenāt are either contract labor or is close friends to someone who is. So it was a given that he would be let go at some point if things didnāt pick up soon for them.
Honestly, I feel a bit of relief and like God allowed it to go on as long as it did until He was finished preparing David for the changes that are coming.
My husband absolutely HATES major changes yāall and God knows this! David will stay in unhappiness and complete misery before he will let go of a job and move on or until God forces him to move on. So I honestly believe that God made sure that David had gotten a belly FULL of the stress and worry from having to do without what heād need, every single day, just to do his day to day operations on that job. God made sure that heād be as okay as a family man can be, with being let go and forced to move on. Although David left on good terms, he has truly learned who his real friends are out of all of them through this difficult time. I think heās had a realization of a few people there that he thought were his friends in finding out that they really arenāt his friends at all. Thatās a hard pill to swallow for any one, especially as long as David had worked with some of those guys.
Anywho, moving on…
David and I are Christians. We have complete faith and trust in God Almighty but it doesnāt prevent us from having stress and worry that comes with living life in this crazy world. We try to never doubt God and His abilities or powers for how He always takes care of us, especially in how He will provide for us daily, because He always has even in this exact position of David having been laid off before. The past few years have been a lot of difficult trials with Davids job. But thatās a story for a different blog some time.
I think I can speak for the both of us when I say that the longest and most difficult part of his five, now beginning of six, weeks off is the fear that comes from the enemy of the unknown.
We donāt know whatās to come. We donāt know for sure whatās gonna happen next, especially now that the entire nation is under quarantine. We donāt know how we will manage the day to day operations of life now. We donāt know how much longer we can stand one another on a 24/7 basis when we are both used to having a few hours each and every day to ourselves, even though I wouldnāt want to be cooped up with anyone else 24/7 except my wonderful husband David. Heās truly a God send.
While I could go on and on with what David and I ādonāt knowā, Iād rather turn my focus and attention to more positive thoughts. Iād rather think of what we ādo knowā and focus on the āBUT GODā parts of it all. With each and every day that comes and goes there is a God and He remains in control of everything.
So Iāll turn your attention to what we DO KNOW. We do know that He has provided a wonderful new job for David and that this new job comes with some pretty awesome benefits and better pay. Both of which are better than what heās ever had with any other job. We do know that itās a blessed and welcomed change for the both of us. We do know that God is gonna work out the living arrangements that we are faced with due to this wonderful new job. We do know that our, almost, 24 years of marriage is strong enough to handle the distance and what ever else God chooses to bless us with through it all. We do know that God continues to provide us both with courage, wisdom, knowledge, and the finances to hold on to what Heās blessed us with already. We do know that God wonāt EVER let us down. We do know that, no matter our circumstances, God will love us and care for us unconditionally. Iāll have more we do knows as each day passes and we get closer and closer to this amazing new beginning for us. And let me say this too; God gets all of the glory for what we have, and all that we continue to be blessed with, from our finances down to each and every item that we possess. David and I both thank Him every single moment of every single day for it all.
So, while we are human and struggle daily, we DO KNOW that we will be okay through all of this because we will always be āLozowski strongā TOGETHER, no matter how many miles we may be apart, as long as we keep God as our leader and guide.
We would appreciate and covet any and all prayers for our obedience, strength, and guidance as we live this out and continue trusting and leaning on God moment by moment and day to day. Thanks and God bless to each and every one of you.
Young Living
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Iāmma āSpoonieā
A well explained way of my daily life with the issues I live with. Take the time to watch this and maybe itāll help you to understand…..
Life and Love 