Isn’t it ironic how the ones you think will come to help you the most, in any situation, are the very ones that will actually help you the least?
I don’t know how to explain it without offending people but let me just say what goes around, comes around. I don’t mean that distasteful in any way but isn’t it the truth? How we/I treat others truly matters. How we treat people is a sign of what’s hidden inside of our hearts. What we put in, is what’s gonna be put out.
It’s taking me a long time to realize that the “old me” didn’t care about anyone, not even herself. Now a days, while I still find it difficult to feel sorry for others in the sense that others think I should, I do realize now that my words and actions are meaningful to people. I’ve also come to learn that how I treat others portrays what’s going on inside of me. If I’m having a rough day, any of us for that matter, we tend to be more harsh and “bite the heads off”, so to speak, when spoken to. But when we’re having a pleasant day, we tend to be more pleasant and patient with others.
I am being as obedient to Gods Will as I can be by ignoring the source but the wounds keep going so deep. My scars keep getting bigger and deeper. I’ve been cut so deeply, by those that say they love me the most, and I just don’t know how to allow for complete healing. Every time I think I’m able to move on from them, I just can’t! My mind always goes back to the hurt. I can’t even seem to take a good, deep breathe.
I hope we all enjoy our Memorial Day but please don’t say to have a happy one.
It’s not such a “Happy” day for oh so many of those loved ones left behind. I pray that each one of them have peace in their hearts knowing their soldier, marine, airman, etc., died knowing the sacrifices they chose would forever reign. I would to say a heartfelt thank you to them all.
I watched a movie this evening that I had watched before but forgotten most of the scenes of. After it started I remembered the story line but decided to watch it again anyway just to refresh my memory of how it all played out. Plus, I figured, given that it’s also a comedy it’s a win win cuz who doesn’t love to laugh right!?!
Without going into the name of it, it’s actors, etc., I’ll attempt to sum it up in a brief explanation, to the best of my ability, and make the point that I got out of it.
The movie from my prospective, in short, is about a woman that has excelled in her career without having had much education at all. However, in her attempt to “climb the ladder” of her success it seems she had hit a rather unremovable road block. Her life long bff helps persuade her into taking a job that she had acquired through lies about her achievements. So while moving out the door of her stale career path and heading into a remarkable world of opportunity that turned out to be, in the end, the best thing that had ever happened to her she’s had a HUGE encounter with someone from her past. While falling in love with her new found daughter, she’d given up for adoption in her teenage years, she seems to have lost any future with the love of her life and boyfriend of five years. However, her career is at an all time high until…all the lies and hidden secrets begin to unravel.
Of course I’m leaving out the majority of the movie as to not ruin it for any of you that haven’t watched it. If you have watched it then you’ll know the movie I’m writing about and may decide to watch again yourself.
Now, stick with me and let’s move on.
The moral I got from the movie is sort of a “punch line” said during the movie by the boyfriend. Their relationship began on a lie, or rather a hidden secret that she never told him about, and one that she similarly repeats in the overwhelming love that she’s acquired for her new found daughter.
“No relationship based on lies will ever survive” packs a powerful punch to me. It is what the boyfriend says to her at one point during the movie. That statement has resonated with me ever since I heard him say it while watching the movie. It’s on repeat in my brain now as I’ve been pondering why it’s stuck there.
So let’s now shift from the movie and into my own life’s relationships. Again, without going into extreme details and, of course, no names will be given but it has given me one of those “💡” moments as it plays over and over again in my brain.
It has become one of those “TADAAAAA” moments to me all of a sudden but I now understand a particular relationship that I’ve been at such a loss about in my life for several years now. A relationship that started out beautifully but has become a thorn that I can’t seem to get to fester for healing. One that has destroyed a part of me that idk if I’ll ever be the same from. As I live and breathe it’s oxygen sucking toxicity at times, I have a love for it that is confusingly exhausting to me when I attempt to understand it. It’s one of those love/hate relationships that tonight I FINALLY get. I finally understand it somewhat 🙄 Duh 🤦♀️ It’s because ANY and all relationships built on lies will never last.
Have you ever read through the entire book of Nehemiah in the Bible?
Well, I hadn’t until tonight.
So so good!
In reading through Nehemiah tonight I’ve come to realize that lots of the same struggles I, and the world, face day to day is very similar to what they faced in the days Jesus walked the earth.
Is that not weirdly exciting to you! I mean we aren’t facing a single thing that hasn’t already been faced and walked through with God. That’s absolutely GOOD GOOD NEWS y’all!
Any-who; As I was reading, one of things that stuck out to me the most is how Nehemiah would pray before each response to the enemies. I highlighted each prayer he said so that I can read them easily, especially at a quick glance.
Oh how I pray I can be more like Nehemiah, not only in his praying but in his faithfulness to God Almighty.
“Our God will fight for us!” 4:20b
What a great role model.
Below is my favorite prayer that I read in the book of Nehemiah. I pray that it blesses you as it did me.
Be sure to read the entire book as not to pick and choose the scriptures out of context.
WoW! What a hectic few days it’s been in Texas. The power grid can’t handle all this wintery stuff. Rolling outages and so many without power for hours upon hours. It’s not for the lack of people trying to get electricity back on though. Lineman are working around the clock to try and restore what they can. Cray! Cray! With more on the way tonight into tomorrow.
In light of the year it’s been, this Thanksgiving’s “thankful for’s” could be very different from years past. I know mine is but in everything we are to be thankful.
“Rejoice always and delight in your faith; be unceasing and persistent in prayer; in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 AMP
Scripture tells us that Jesus will have a second coming and that we should be prepared for that day, every day, because we do not know the day nor the hour of His return.
“But of that [exact] day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son [in His humanity], but the Father alone. For the coming of the Son of Man (the Messiah) will be just like the days of Noah.” Matthew 24:36-37 AMP
So for 2020’s world changing year, I am thankful that Jesus has given me a second (multiple) chance (chances) to get my affairs in order. While I am saved, this trying year has taught me that I need to prepare more than ever for Jesus’ return. Some things I thought were important to me aren’t as important as I thought while other things I thought weren’t so important are very important. Thank you Jesus for never giving up on me!
So, what are you thankful for this year? Comment below…
Well I’ve had another rest from blogging, and other stuff, as I’m sure y’all that follow me have noticed.
I never know when I will feel good and when I will feel awful due to this chronic pain I live with. Let’s just say that I’ve had more down days than up lately for a number of reasons. I pray to be on the track to feeling good for more than a couple days at a time now. I just never know what each day holds for me until I begin it.
I have found myself cancelling things and saying no more than ever, even when I really want to. I apologize more than ever because I just can’t!! I hate the hold this autoimmune disease has over me. It isn’t just one thing. I have a number of things that taunt me daily.
So many say there “well just do this” or “have you tried…” and “I know that feeling” when really they don’t have a clue! I don’t even try to explain anymore I just say “thanks for that advice” or “I’ll try that” just to move the conversation on from even talking about it any further. Most days I just want to scream but even that’s to exhausting. 😂
Any-who, enough about that!!
Pray for me and my husband! Say a special prayer for those not even in my life these days, whether they’ve chosen to walk away or I’ve just distanced myself from them, to love me through it anyway.
Good night world! May God hold your hand through the hard times just as He does for me because without God, I probably wouldn’t even be here. 💕
Kelly Clarkson sings a song called “Broken and Beautiful” and it is so relatable for me because I feel so broken, most days, these days BUT GOD and loved ones y’all; right!?!
I live with lots of chronic pain in my entire body, due to a few medical issues, that causes me to live with so much pain around the clock. Some days it’s “hide-ably” tolerable and some days it hurts to just wake up! Lots of days, I just wanna sleep and not wake up until the pain hurts no more.
So many Dr’s!!!!! So many surgeries!!!!! So many “Let’s Try This!” So many “Lets Run This Test.” So many “Xrays and blood work!” So many unknowns but let’s keep seeking for answers until I am so sick of it all!!!!!😫
My most recent surgery, just 5 weeks ago, was for them to put in a nerve stimulator implant in my back. For those that don’t know what that is, it’s a machine that’s basically an internal Tens Unit that blocks the nerve signals that go to my brain telling my brain that I feel pain. While it has helped, it’s not as helpful as we’d hoped. I would say it’s helped by maybe 30% when it’s turned on.
As I type this, it’s 2:20 A M and I can’t sleep. And since I’m awake, I feel the aches and burns going on through out my entire body. In my shoulders, arms and hands I feel aches, throbs, burns, down to my finger bones hurting so bad at times that I just shake them off and hang them down to my sides for a few seconds of that momentary cold sensational relief. Some times I just wanna take em off and set em aside for a bit, swap em out with another pair, massage them momentarily, just something for some kind of relief! This is not what the stimulator is for, that’s for my feet, legs, lower back, and hip pain (which didn’t help my left hip much at all). To be fair though, I rarely mention my shoulders, hands, and arm pains at all because there’s so much other crap that hurts way worse.
I don’t know how to explain it, all I can say is I just HURT ALL OVER and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t want sympathy. I don’t want more freaking medicine. I don’t want another dang surgery. I rarely even want to be touched but I don’t want to be rude. I don’t want to seem mean to any one. I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings. I don’t want to hurt anymore PERIOD! So, to avoid things in this paragraph, I stay home a lot more.
So much of this unexplainable pain just makes me so danged irritable at times. I have gotten to where I just avoid being around people and certain situations all together. I rarely get out and about by myself anymore because I never know from moment to moment what I’m going to be able to tolerate because the pain changes from day to day through out each and every single day. Simply put; I just hurt and I don’t want it to become an excuse for any thing in my life but it’s very debilitating at times. Thankfully though the migraines have almost completely stopped since my neck surgery was done in December of last year. So that’s a positive praise! Thank you Jesus!
I just simply have “unexplainable chronic pain” that’s un-relatable to anyone and everyone around me therefore it’s hard for you to understand. Just know that some days are good days for me and some days are bad but more often than not I just “fake the smiles” to make it through the day with as little complaining as possible because I don’t want to be a burdensome person to anyone. However, I do love deeply and I want y’all to know that I truly appreciate ALL of the prayers and support from you all! I feel ya 🤟♥️
To those of you that do show me true genuine love and support (not just when ya want something) through all of the “maybe this’ll help” processes that I continue to go through to find relief, I love you from the depth of my being and I apologize for not being able to physically help any of you but I do pray that I’m there for you, as you are for me, to the best of my abilities because without God and y’all I don’t know how I’d cope with this life.
So thanks for just being your true selves y’all 😊 #ILYMTTYBLTT❤️